“Kostomarov’s relatives must prepare for a new life, not everyone will survive”

Roman Kostomarov regained consciousness and began to break down on loved ones. It seems that the skater only now realized what happened. Doctors are seriously concerned about his psychological state. A psychologist works with him.

We spoke to a woman whose father lost his leg a month ago. The interlocutor described what problems people who have experienced amputation face and what the relatives of a disabled person should prepare for.

Lyudmila lives in Tyumen. Her father is in Ufa. On February 10, the man underwent heart surgery, and on February 13, his leg was amputated up to a third of the thigh.

– Kostomarov was lucky, he has money and there is a psychologist next to him. Ordinary people manage on their own,” Lyudmila says. – After my father was operated on, I began to look for forums where people discuss life after amputation. I thought to consult with the disabled who have experienced this. But it turned out that there is nothing like it on the Web. Amputees are not ready to share their problems. I found several thematic groups on VKontakte. But there were mostly perverts who prefer sex with amputees. I accidentally came across a site where people share different stories. After a long search, I came across a guy’s post there, he was just about to have an amputation. There are a lot of helpful tips in the comments. I also described our story, which gained as many as 44 thousand views. Then I realized that the topic is relevant and important, but information on it is minimal.

More recently, I discovered a forum of the All-Russian Society of the Disabled, which only confirmed disabled people can read. You need to register, send certificates and you will be advised. But there are no revelations.

– Kostomarov emotionally reacts to what is happening, breaks down on loved ones. What happened to your father after the operation?

– When it came to amputation, my father refused to cut off his leg for a couple of days. He asked me to find more qualified specialists, to consult again. He hoped for a miracle. I managed to get through to him, to convince him that people live without a leg, and we can handle it.

On the first night after the operation, he began to have terrible phantom pains. He felt a sharp pain in his toes, which are not there. He was injected with morphine because he couldn’t stand it. The pain has not subsided so far, but he understands that painkillers kill the body, so he fixes himself and asks to inject the drug only at night. Sometimes breaks down, freaks out. Once he asked me to find a pistol and one cartridge.

For some disabled people, phantom pains do not go away all their lives. People get used to and live with them. It must be understood that phantom pains are in the head of a person. Here it is important to learn how to switch your thoughts. In a good way, psychological help is needed.

But there are no psychologists in ordinary hospitals. After discharge, I plan to move my father to Tyumen, I will look for paid specialists. As long as I’m on my own. I was told that a person after an amputation needs to be distracted. I send my father positive articles about people with disabilities, I downloaded life-affirming films. Under no circumstances should a person be left alone. Therefore, it is better to refuse a single chamber. After such operations, the patient needs socialization, communication.

To accept the inevitable, there are five stages to go through: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. How long depression lasts depends on the character of the person and his environment. They explained to me that in this situation one should not feel sorry for the patient, this only makes him worse. You can not indulge his whims. Overprotection also hurts. Sometimes I talk quite harshly with my father to bring him to his senses. People need to be prepared for the idea that life has changed. I forbade all relatives to accuse him of the fact that he himself is to blame, because he started himself up. He already understands this very well, and putting pressure on a sore spot is ridiculous.

– Are there rehabilitation centers, sanatoriums for people after amputation?

– After the operation, my father began to have complications. The stump is still festering. He will spend another month in the hospital. And then you will have to treat, care for and process the stump at home. She lives up to a year. And until the stump heals, you will have to forget about medical sanatoriums. Nobody is ready to take responsibility. For example, from his father turned out to be a home for the disabled in Bashkiria. They explained to me that more or less healthy people are taken there.

Rehabilitation centers are also a problem. There are no free ones. There are also very few commercial ones, and the prices are cosmic, from 15 thousand rubles a day. Who can afford it? We have a lot of rehabilitation centers in the country with free quotas for people after a stroke or heart attack, for those who have suffered any disease, except for amputation.

Separate rehabilitation centers were organized for the victims of the NWO. A person from the street will not get there.

As a result, people without legs and arms are discharged from the hospital, and no one needs them. Houses themselves are stewing in their own problems.

And even all my penetrating power of incredible proportions did not help in this situation.

So far, I have created comfortable conditions in the hospital where my father is now. I bought an anti-decubitus mattress. There was only one outlet for everyone in the ward, I ran a splitter so that everyone could charge their phones. I hung hooks over my father’s bed, made a shelf where I put the tablet. I would buy a TV, but there is no antenna in the room. There are no nannies in the hospital. I found a nurse who takes care of him, gives him pills. While the father has not yet passed the stage of acceptance, it is dangerous to leave him unattended. She asked the nurse in the hospital to remove all the medicines from the nightstand, God forbid she gets poisoned. It was explained to me that the onset of the stage of acceptance depends on the nature of the disabled person. The more positive and cheerful a person was before the operation, the more chances he has for psychological recovery.

– After amputation, the immunity drops greatly?

– Certainly. But there is no information about this anywhere either. At least they made a minimal step-by-step instruction on what awaits people who have lost limbs, what it is worth preparing for. After all, about any sore on the Internet you can find a lot of advice. And only silence about amputees. Probably, because for a long time this topic was taboo in our country, and until now the attitude of society towards people without arms and legs, I will not say that it is loyal. Therefore, people are embarrassed to share problems.

– Relatives of such people have a hard time?

– Relatives should prepare for a new life. Not everyone can handle this kind of burden. For example, my sister is now depressed, constantly crying. I am stronger in this regard. True, in the last month I sleep 3-4 hours a day. I solve problems with my father, go to work, and at night, bit by bit, I look for at least some information on our problem on the Internet. So I would advise those close to Kostomarov to take courage. It won’t be easy.