How to marry a man if he pulls with an offer

In spring, not only nature comes to life – hopes and dreams come to life, including marriage ones. But what if a man demonstrates matrimonial intentions: gives flowers and rings, examines wedding sets and tailcoats, or even leads a joint life, but is in no hurry to the registry office? Marriage proposal: how to get it if the groom thinks for a long time? Advice psychologist Maryana Razumovskaya.

Vague doubts

Probably, if the groom takes too long to engage, you can first take care of the reasons. What if he is a hereditary convinced bachelor and does not believe in marriage? Or disbelieved. Or he heard enough of the opinions of opponents of legal matrimony.

If Leo Tolstoy wrote in his LiveJournal the next day after the wedding, oh, that is, in his diary “Not that” … Or Chekhov, who dreamed that “my wife, like the moon, did not appear to me every day” (it came true, by the way). Or even Nietzsche with his strangely wild women who have to come with a whip … All these celebrities are just children and champions of healthy relationships in comparison with the gurus of wisdom-courage from modern sites. Experienced citizens in such places are not spoiled by education and do not suffer from eloquence, but they reinforce the lack of intelligence with the intelligibility of their views: “Marriage is evil, the registry office is a stranglehold, women are to blame for everything.”

Therefore, if the long-playing groom got carried away by “men’s sites” and backed it up with many hours of sitting in tanks with three gallons of beer in addition, the bride should think about it. Maybe you should not take an oath and exchange rings in order to be “the wrong one” in advance? Let him play on.

Strange delays

But it also happens that nothing and no one seems to turn a person away from marriage, including even his mother. But he doesn’t. It seems that he is not going to eat his passport in front of the registry office, but the registry office itself still bypasses three miles.

If a couple, moreover, has been living together for a long time, it’s time for a woman to think – isn’t she too seriously established a complex of household services? Another common-law wife is trying so hard, providing the rear, that the man no longer needs to run to the registry office. Why – they feed him so well.

Of course, no one has canceled the old truth that the path to family happiness runs through the male stomach. But still, in the status of a bride, caring for a groom is exactly a path, and not a one-way highway.

It would also be nice to figure it out – if you have been dating for more than a year and no serious proposals, like requests to accept a hand and a heart from a man, are received, what would that mean? What if you are just an alternate airfield for him, to “sit out”? And the man himself is not a pilot at all, but a sailor or filibuster, ready to leave you at a convenient moment and embark on a great voyage?

Do you talk to me

So many women, if the groom slows down and endlessly prolongs the engagement, pour out their doubts to anyone: mothers, aunts, girlfriends, tarot fortune-tellers, left-wing personalities on the train. But only not to the one who needs it – the very hero of the occasion, which still will not take place.

And the advice here is quite the opposite: stop getting involved in conversations about marriage with outsiders, even if all the old aunts instead of “hello” tell you “when already?” And address this question to the groom. Only taking into account some gender subtleties.

Almost all men, especially shy ones, do not like to talk about the wedding “on the forehead.” This is what society teaches them: “Stupid people get married, smart people get married”, feature films and uncles in garages. Therefore, touching on the wedding theme, it is necessary to maintain the caution of a sapper when clearing a mine. You can, languidly sighing, unobtrusively look at fashion magazines with weddings. Or the nature views of Krasnaya Polyana, recommended for honeymoon trips. Or delve into English films replete with respectable weddings and funerals.

For successful communication on the topic of marriage, experts recommend using the “mirror” technique: this is when you unobtrusively copy the vocabulary and intonations of the interlocutor. Just do it discreetly – otherwise the man will consider it a mockery and begin to be offended.

Hiking, a weekend trip to elderly relatives, registering data on the state portal or volunteering at a shelter – any test can also become a catalyst for further actions on the part of a partner. It is known that existential events bring together, stress contributes to decision-making. Thus, stresses sometimes awaken dormant chivalry.

Fifty Shades of Weird

If there are no pronounced obstacles to the legal development of events, and the man is not talking, then this is an occasion to think: do you need this marriage. Experienced brides in such a situation try to get closer to the family and friends of the chosen one, if they have not done this before. In the family, as a rule, the reasons for so many male oddities are hidden. And friends, especially drunk ones, are a storehouse of valuable information.

Elderly mothers, aunts and grandmothers are also an abundant source of data on the groom. If a man experienced a bereavement in childhood, especially at the age of 4-5, or grew up without parents, or was bullied at school, for example, this can also be the reason that a person is in no hurry to go to the registry office. And maybe never go there at all. And in this case, professional help is required.

Patriarchal attitudes in the family, sadistic inclinations, projectionism, gambling and other words with a root – mania, 33 unsuccessful experiences in building relationships in the past, tense relationships with all existing relatives, lack of friends, asexuality, hypochondria, frustration – a serious reason to think about whether you need whether you have such a husband for many years. Still, a life partner is your support, not a broken cane. And at best, this is the one who will give wings.