Clarified the events around the girl who signaled violence on television

State Duma Vice Speaker Boris Chernyshov, after a sensational incident during a TV show, said that the secret gesture “save me from violence” (which came to us from the West) needs to be taught to kindergarteners and schoolchildren and even included in educational programs.

We are talking about a gesture when the thumb is pressed against the palm, and on top it is covered several times with all four fingers. It seems that the thumb is a “victim”, which is covered (“captured”) by the rest of the fingers – “tyrant-parents” (or tyrant-husband / wife).

Recall that on June 21, a TV show was aired about a typical conflict between parents – a mother does not allow her father to see her daughter. The eldest daughter of the heroine of the talk show in the video that was included in the plot, while she was saying the words about “how much she loves her mother and how grateful she is for everything”, showed an encrypted message to society from behind her younger sister with her fingers . The SOS of the little heroine was noticed by both viewers and TV presenters, who, after the broadcast, called the police and Sledkom.

The heroine of the story, 31-year-old Christina from Murom, has two daughters from different men; the eldest is 8-year-old Veronika, who showed this gesture, and the youngest is 4-year-old Milan, whose father, Karen Tunyan, turned to the program due to the fact that his ex-lover does not allow him to communicate with his daughter.

According to Karen, he continued to support his daughter, but Christina did not allow him to see the baby. Then the man through the court achieved the opportunity to see the baby, but Christina prevents this.

As Karen told MK, she and Christina have been living in different cities from the very beginning. We met on the Internet, a man came to visit his beloved … A daughter was born. They didn’t form a relationship. Milana was born in 2019, and until August 2021, “more or less normal” (according to his father), he managed to communicate with his daughter. At the same time, he had conflicts with her mother.

At first, Karen applied to the prosecutor’s office with a demand that the court’s decision be enforced. Tunyan showed videos showing how Kristina and her cohabitant are in conflict with relatives, and the youngest daughter is trying to separate them. “In my opinion, the aggressive behavior of the mother and her current partner has an extremely negative impact on the children, one of whom is my daughter,” the man said in his statement.

– How did you hear about the SOS signal from the older girl?

– I learned this from the discussion in social networks. I didn’t even know that such a sign existed, says Karen. – I assumed that there is an unhealthy situation; I can’t say that the mother directly uses physical and psychological violence against the children, but there were episodes before my eyes when Christina was rude to the children.

– What can you say about Christina’s current roommate?

– It is he who worries me most of all – that such a person is with my daughter. They have known each other since 2020. He has two children, he beat his wife … I know for sure that he has a huge alimony debt, an executive wanted list, he was involved in the distribution of drugs …

According to Karen, he provided video materials (which were not shown in full) for transmission, in which a roommate beats Christina’s stepfather. At first, Christina and her daughters and their “new dad” lived with her mother and stepfather together. After another scandal, which almost ended in the murder of her stepfather, Christina’s parents moved.

In addition, Karen said that Kristina was brought to administrative responsibility 21 times for improper performance of parental duties! Namely, for her violation of the points of the court decision on the order of communication between the father and daughter. “For example, my daughter got sick and she didn’t notify me, etc,” Karen explained.

According to him, the mother constantly turns the girl against the father.

After the story aired, a big scandal was planned, according to Karen, after that, inspectors from the Sledkom with guardianship came to Christina, but they did not find anything criminal.

“They saw that the children were fed, well-groomed, and concluded that everything was fine there,” says Karen. “But… the thing is, since 2020, this family has been under guardianship control. And what do we have for 2023? That her boyfriend beat her stepfather in front of her kids? There is a video of Christina “dealing” with teenagers on the street, allegedly they offended her child, in which she swears in front of her daughters and behaves aggressively. Until effective measures are taken, I will knock on all doors! The situation is potentially dangerous, and I don’t know how it could end up for the children.

In turn, Veronica’s maternal grandmother said that it was she who explained to her granddaughter the meaning of the gesture that the child had previously seen on Tik-Tok. According to the woman, the daughter’s current roommate spanks the girls, “leaves them hungry if they are naughty at the table.” Grandmother believes that from that video it is immediately noticeable how insincere Veronica says about her mother – that she loves her. The grandmother also said that now she cannot see her granddaughter, as she and her husband (Kristina’s stepfather) have a bad relationship with their daughter and her partner. “Now we don’t know what’s going on in their house,” she said.

– By itself, teaching children this sign will not have an effect; measures will only work in combination – subject to the introduction of a full-fledged system of prevention and counteraction to domestic violence, – family lawyer Ekaterina Tyagay, a partner at Pen & Paper, commented on this situation to MK. – Children can show these symbols anywhere, but it is not a fact that, firstly, they will notice them, and, secondly, even if they notice, they will know what to do next.

For example, if a teacher in a kindergarten does not consider such a sign of the child to be playing like this, but understands him correctly, then it is not a fact that she will know what to do next. If she decides to talk to the child or the parents, and does not inform the relevant authorities, and if she does, then these authorities do not know what to do with it or do not have valid legal instruments, then this will lead nowhere. That is why I am talking about the system of such measures.

According to the lawyer, “signals” and codes are the traditional way of reporting domestic violence; especially when the victim and perpetrator are in the same place and the risks of “open” reporting of violence are too high.” The forms and methods of such signals are diverse. From hand signals (like the one seen in the video in question) to ordering a specific drink in a cafe (the name of the drink can be a code for a request for help) or calling a hotline number under the guise of ordering a pizza.

In countries where there is systemic regulation in the field of prevention and combating domestic violence, such “code designations” are widely used, but in combination with other measures provided for by law (these are protection orders, the provision of free psychological and medical assistance, access to shelters , fundamental training of social security agencies and law enforcement officers, etc.).