What is the power of journalism? In marketing and team building

The events described in this feuilleton have nothing to do with reality, not a single character has a real prototype.

Maxim Dolzhansky.

Late in the evening, when even the ears were already asleep at the walls, the dean of the Faculty of Journalism named after Pantyukhin quietly slipped into the office of the rector of the Ogorodnikov University of Education.

“So we finished the game,” Pantyukhina whispered, “we have a professional at the faculty again.

— How so?! the rector exclaimed quietly. “We’ve already killed everyone.

– All but not all. Likhoborsky is wandering the corridors again, giving lectures.

– What don’t you like? He’s also harmless. As a dean, you quite meanly, on the sly, sat behind his back, he didn’t even have time to blink an eye. The position is yours, and so-and-so – let him wander, read lectures.

– Yes, for nothing! He also worked in newspapers, and worked on television, he understands this, and in this he is an ace of aces. And what will the teachers, whom I painfully collected, look like against his background? But they are marketers and economists, chemical technologists and merchandisers. They don’t know a damn thing about journalism, and they don’t need to. Yes, and I myself am an advertiser, the department of swindle and careerism is closer to me, in the sense of advertising and public relations. The students are simpletons, they won’t understand anything, but Likhoborsky will take it and lead us all to clean water. In addition, Yesenia Leonardovna really needs a hundred hours of Likhoborsky to close the workload and receive a full salary.

– Who else is this?

– Head of the Department of Journalism. Economist, psychologist and translator rolled into one. Well, let him teach journalism. What difference does it make who teaches it? Translator, chemist-technologist or merchandiser? All the same, none of them knows anything about journalism. But – Yesenia Leonardovna learned to download presentations from the Internet.

“It’s a useful skill,” the rector thought. – Yes, you are right, a professional should be exterminated, otherwise he will destroy the entire education system at the Faculty of Journalism.

– Thanks. But I would like to do it as meanly, disgustingly and lowly as possible. So that he would not even think of ever returning to us.

– Well, of course. Do what you love and know how to do.

Yesenia Leonardovna conducted the next lesson for the students. Right from the doorway, she slightly puzzled the guys, briefly introducing them to her working biography.

I am an economist, psychologist and translator by education. But, since she has already reached such heights in these areas that there is nowhere to strive, I decided to teach you journalism.

For any person, the translation into Russian of this verbal pas is extremely clear: since neither an economist, nor a psychologist, nor a translator turned out of me, I decided to do the simplest thing: to teach journalism. The students understood the meaning of what was said. And they had an internal question: why should Yesenia Leonardovna learn to teach journalism at our expense, and not at her own?

Another problem has arisen. It turned out that yesterday’s schoolchildren, after listening to a couple of lectures by Likhoborsky, already understand journalism a little better than Yesenia Leonardovna. Yesenia Leonardovna had only two answers to any question that arose while watching presentations downloaded from the Internet: 1. We will talk about this later; 2. It can be easily Googled.

And then the students went to the rector with a simple request: let the main subject – the basics of journalistic activity – be taught by a professional journalist, and not an economist-psychologist-translator, not a chemist-technologist and not a commodity specialist.

And the rector, being a skilled diplomat, poured a prepared tub of dirt on Likhoborsky (but behind him, of course) and said something important:

– The basics of journalism is not the main subject at the Faculty of Journalism!

The rector did not explain which one was the main one, but the students thought that it was physical education, put on sneakers, put on sports uniforms and began to run around the University named after education.

And the dean of the Faculty of Journalism was very offended. “I work as an entertainer for them,” the dean sobbed inside herself. “I take them there, and here. And I send it there, and here too. She invited famous TV presenters from the Yuvelirochka and Shop on the Couch channels to them, showed them stands at exhibitions, did team building with them, simply filled up skill boxes, lowered them headlong into marketing, communicated with them non-stop, and they – ungrateful pigs. Give them a professional! I’ll deprive them of a make-up master class, then they will know!”

And Likhoborsky turned on the TV in the evening, they showed “Besogon” by Nikita Mikhalkov. And there is a short video. Street electronic stand with changing advertisements. The first – Hero of Russia, title, name, surname, portrait. The second – Hero of Russia, title, name, surname, portrait. And the third – very large: recycling, and small – the name of the chain of stores. And Nikita Sergeevich’s comment: they say, they took and disposed of our heroes, and no one thought which pictures on the stand go one after another. But the master made a reservation: “And others will say: what about such and such?”

And Likhoborsky thought: “Yes, here they are – the pupils of the Pantyukhins, this is their job, it was they who disposed of the heroes. Journalism at the faculties named after journalism is indeed not the main subject. Journalism today is not about meanings, but about sales. That’s her merchandisers and teach. In half with economists, psychologists and chemical technologists. And what is it?”

Alexey Vishnevetsky.