The priest explained how to remember relatives on Dmitrievskaya Parental Saturday

For the remembrance of the unbaptized there is a prayer of St. Leo of Optina

There are several days in the Orthodox calendar when it is customary to visit cemeteries and remember deceased ancestors – these are parental (funeral) Saturdays. Some of these days are associated with such important events of the Christian year as Lent and Easter, and some are marked on the calendar by themselves. The next one – Dmitrievskaya Parents’ Saturday – will be October 28, 2023. MK was figuring out how to spend this day.

Demetrius Parental Saturday does not have an exact date in the calendar – it falls on the last Saturday before the day of remembrance of the Holy Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessaloniki, which is celebrated on November 8. Accordingly, memorial Saturday is floating: this year it falls on October 28. According to one version, this day is connected with the history of the Battle of Kulikovo – it was on this day that Prince Dmitry Donskoy, together with St. Sergius of Radonezh, commemorated those who died on the Kulikovo field, and with them all the deceased Orthodox Christians. However, it is believed that on this day, first of all, it is necessary to remember those who died for the sake of the Orthodox faith, for the Tsar and the Fatherland, and not just their own ancestors.

As on other church holidays, you need to come to the church the day before: the Great Requiem Service takes place on Friday evening, but on Saturday morning there is another, funeral divine liturgy, and after that there is a general requiem service. This series of services provides an opportunity to pay maximum respect and respect to the deceased.

After visiting the temple (but not instead!) you need to go to the cemetery. You shouldn’t do full-scale cleaning work there—you can’t do heavy physical labor on Parents’ Saturday—and you also shouldn’t remember the dead with a shot of vodka. The Orthodox Church is also skeptical about the tradition of leaving treats, including alcohol, on graves – this manner is associated with pagan sacrifices. The best way to end the day is to get together with your family and remember all your deceased ancestors. Unlike anniversaries, when a specific person is supposed to be remembered, parental Saturday belongs to everyone at once. On this day, you can tell your children the history of your family, talk about those great-grandfathers they missed. There is also a purely everyday nuance: October 28 is already deep autumn, so you definitely need to go to the cemetery to prepare the burials for winter. Most likely, this will be the last visit before Krasnaya Gorka – after all, a week after Easter, it’s time to clean up the cemeteries after winter. Thus, these special dates of the church calendar are inscribed in the Russian calendar cycle and are rooted in it.

The responsibility of descendants is to submit notes with petitions for the commemoration of the deceased. They must be written in accordance with the rules: in the genitive case (about the repose of Maria, Ivan, Olga, etc.). Father Gennady, who serves in one of the churches in Moscow, spoke in more detail about this in a conversation with an MK correspondent:

– On this day, as well as on any other, you can and should pray for the repose of those who are already in a better world. Of course, you can do this at home – many, as part of the evening prayer rule, remember deceased relatives and friends, as well as especially memorable people. However, church prayer certainly has great power. Many people ask whether it is possible to remember in such a prayer those who were not Orthodox Christians during their lifetime. If you answer this question in one word, then no, you can’t; however, further nuances begin. Firstly, if a person was baptized at birth and then was not excommunicated from the Church, prayers can and should be offered for him: he is a child of the Church and, perhaps, before his death he was able to repent and return to its bosom. Secondly, those who have not been baptized, of course, cannot be remembered in church prayer – but in home prayer, if there is such a desire, they can be remembered in a special way. For this there is a prayer of St. Leo of Optina, which sounds like this: “Seek, Lord, the lost soul (name), if it is possible, have mercy! Your destinies are unsearchable. Do not make this my prayer a sin for me, but Thy holy will be done.”