The mysterious death of a ninth-grader on the day of retaking the OGE: the ombudsman told the details

The family of the deceased 16-year-old schoolboy was considered prosperous, they were not registered anywhere. The guy has a mom, dad and older brother. According to family friends, the student did not pass the OGE in mathematics in the spring, and was preparing for a retake.

In local publics there was information from supposedly acquaintances of the deceased that “the guy was very nervous the day before.”

“MK” contacted the children’s ombudsman in the Kirov region Vladimir Shabardin, who is aware of the state of emergency, and he warned about the premature conclusions.

– So far it is impossible to say with certainty that the boy took his own life. The investigating authorities are now investigating whether it was an accident or a deliberate step.

Yes, there is a fact that on this day he had to retake the exam. But there were no signs indicating his nervous state, anxiety.

Did the morning go as usual?

– The boy talked to his mother in the morning, everything was fine. He was going to the drop-off point, collected all the things necessary for the exam, and told his mother about it on the phone. But at the point of passing the exam, they did not wait for him. After that, the class teacher contacted the boy’s mother, who went home and found out about the death of her son.

What do they say about him at school?

According to the characteristics of the school, the boy was calm, balanced. There were no destructive or antisocial manifestations in his behavior. That is, there was nothing that could talk about the version of suicide. We are faced with such situations and see that children in such cases usually leave some messages on social networks, or pass something on to friends, or write a note. There was nothing like that. I will also add that the relationship between his parents was even, good, that is, dad and mom were not, for example, in a state of divorce or quarrel, which could also add stress to the boy. Now someone says that he was very nervous on the eve of the retake, but we have no evidence of this.

Discussing this tragedy, local residents, as usual, blame the parents for it, and some blame the teachers. And all together – the system of current exams.

“The son says that the teachers put pressure on him,” the father of a fifth-grader from the Kirov region is indignant. – They are constantly told: “You will not pass, you will not pass, you are ignoramuses!” And so on. Constantly “drip on the brain.” And it’s fifth grade! This is not even an OGE, but just a VPR (test work)! And already such pressure. Why be surprised with what mentality children come to 9th and 11th grades … ??

… Don’t go to a psychologist here, normal parents themselves know how to treat their children’s studies so as not to harm their psychological and emotional state. For example, one of the residents said: “I don’t tell my son, of course, that you can forget about studying. But I tell him that you need to study for yourself! And all these exams – pah on them. How will it come out. If you don’t give up, it’s okay, we’ll find where to move on. The main thing is to prevent the child from having a fear of exams or even grades in general. And then pressure and teachers and parents. They scared the kids!”

Child psychiatrists once again warn parents: adolescents have such a psyche that they do not fully realize that death is forever. “They think differently,” says an expert in child psychology. – For example, when they quarrel with their parents and want to annoy them, take revenge, they are sure that now they will do something with themselves, watch how their parents suffer and suffer, and after a while everything will be fine as before “.

– In such crucial periods, children should be set up like this: this is an important event, and you should try to make it better for you, but any result will suit us! – advises moms and dads psychologist Yevgeny Idzikovsky. – It’s just that the better you perform, the easier it will be for you in your later life, but this is just one of its stages. It’s worth trying, but this stage is not critical. Any exam is just one of the stages of life.

– If this happens, in your opinion, are the parents most often to blame? Or teachers who may have intimidated the child?

– If there was no extraordinary pressure on the child – I don’t mean just abuse from the parents – and if he was not tortured, beaten in the family, not physically punished for his studies, then this is a problem on the part of the child, this It’s most likely a mental breakdown. You can not indiscriminately blame someone that they brought the child.

… However, each such tragedy is another reason for parents who are opponents of the Unified State Examination to scold this system. Like, the load now on children is unrealistic. To which the other part of the parents retorts them that “just school exams” from the times of the USSR, which they demand to return, were also stressful for schoolchildren, and that it’s not at all about the exam.