“The enemy does not betray, only a friend betrays”

Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, entrepreneur, former head of the Republic of Kalmykia:

– I always forgive. I have been betrayed many times since school, which I graduated with a gold medal. Then in the army. While studying at MGIMO. Yes, and later. At the institute, for example, some of my friends with whom I shared bread and salt, helped them in their studies, wrote a slander to the KGB and the Central Committee of the CPSU about how, during a birthday celebration in a hostel, I, the deputy secretary of the party committee, drink champagne and something else Stronger, backed it up with photographs. It was 1988, the height of Gorbachev’s anti-alcohol campaign, and I was expelled from the institute and from the party for setting a bad example for the Komsomol members.

I am a Buddhist, we live more than one life, and I do not consider it necessary to spend important days fighting traitors. You need to create, do something important. And try to make sure that on your way there are fewer characters who are inclined to betray. Unfortunately, these are only among the inner circle. The enemy does not betray, only a friend betrays.

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Olga Kormukhina, singer:

– Constantly, I forgive if it concerns me. At school, at my graduation, a classmate told me that no matter what shit they did to me, I still forgive. I am often approached for help, and I go headlong into it, try to help, and then betray me. There were many such cases, people behaved terribly.

Yes, I love people, but if betrayal affects not only me, but also others, for example, my team, I do not forgive him. And I will never have anything to do with such a person again, because he will definitely betray again. This is an axiom. You can no longer trust him, for me he is a finished man.

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Alexey Nemov, four-time Olympic champion in gymnastics:

– There was such a case at one of the final sports performances. Now I even communicate with this person, maintain a dialogue. And I keep some distance, because the same thing happened to other people. And then it was very painful and hard, but I decided not to think about this man and his act: out of sight – out of mind! I can’t say that I directly forgave, but gradually I realized that I don’t consider myself entitled to condemn. No one knows what he would have done in his place. But the question still remains: how can this be forgiven, if we are not talking about trifles? You can only give a chance to correct the perfect and not give a sense of impunity. This will be forgiveness.

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Vladimir Platonov, President of the Moscow Chamber of Commerce and Industry:

– To forgive or not, depends on what were the consequences. If there is no big damage, then you can forgive, which I did. Although the spoons were found, the sediment remains. Distrust of such a person will strongly prevail in subsequent work. I tried later not to communicate with such people anymore: once betrayed, they can repeat.

There are many people in politics with whom you work and trust them, and they do something to your detriment. But “betrayal” is a capacious word, it covers everything from everyday life to the betrayal of the country. There are people who stumbled, who did it out of weakness, out of fear, intimidated. And there is betrayal, where there is a serious organizer, purposeful, well aware of the consequences. Then this is the subject of criminal punishment, and there can be no forgiveness.

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Nikolay Tsiskaridze, rector of the Vaganova Academy of Russian Ballet:

– I am not the Lord God, to forgive or not. I just don’t want to be around them anymore. Such people always hit in the back. But this only gave me strength, because I understood: it means that I am ahead, no matter who I am – a student, the premiere of the Bolshoi Theater or a mentor.

The theatrical world is permeated with ambition, and the hunt for capable students has always been going on. Even when I was at school, I was constantly faced with how some teachers all the time say that others teach incorrectly. With experience, you begin to understand who to listen to and who not. When I worked in the theater with the great Marina Semenova and Galina Ulanova, many of their former students discouraged me from studying with them. And every time I came in a daze, silently looked and thought: “Who raised you?” Then they tried to pull me over to someone else’s side. For some, this is a career step, but I could not afford it. It would be a real betrayal. But I did not listen to idiots when I was lucky to meet with geniuses, that’s why my lightning takeoff took place.

Then M. Semenova kept repeating: “Never trust students. They will betray.” She knew my character and understood that I am a person who takes everything to heart. Unfortunately, she turned out to be right. But most importantly, I do not betray them. Forgiveness is a person’s choice. And it’s your choice whether you want to give the person who missed shooting you a second chance or not.

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Andrey Ananov, President of the Russian Jewelery Art Company:

– In my personal life, there were situations that could be called betrayal. From me, for example, not well, and even with aggravating circumstances, a person who seemed very close to me left. But then I decided that I was so much higher than this person that I would not dirty myself, take revenge. And I didn’t even think about it for a long time. A strong person never boasts of his power, much less demonstrates it, only a weak one will shout: “Go fight!”

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Sergei Stankevich, political scientist, historian, expert of the Anatoly Sobchak Foundation:

– I forgave, because I saw some historical logic in this. He believed that laws of a higher level should work than personal relationships. After all, the entire political history of mankind is the history of wars, revolutions and betrayals. It just doesn’t happen without it. A person is weak, imperfect and sinful, therefore it is impossible to eliminate betrayals.

There were enough betrayals towards me, but I never took the position of public condemnation. I no longer had any relations with such people, but I did not publicly condemn anyone. In betrayal itself, motives play an important role. They do not cancel the very fact of betrayal and cannot serve as an indulgence, but they are always important. There are circumstances that, of course, do not justify, but can explain a lot.

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Ekaterina Rumyantseva, founder and chairman of the board of directors of the Kalinka Group ecosystem:

“I have always strayed from the path of war to the path of creation. We are constantly under attack from competitors for hunting down key employees. No matter how hard we try to cultivate a corporate culture, it still doesn’t work. People are promised mountains of gold, and they leave. It is clear that it is much easier to pick up trained people with a customer base. But every time it is a blow, a real betrayal, because for me business is a part of life. Especially when the company is small and you eat from the same plate. You should probably give a second chance. How to live without trust. You can’t always be in a state of revenge.

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Ekaterina Gordon, TV presenter, human rights activist:

– If someone cheated or cheated, then I draw a conclusion and move on. In childhood and adolescence, I scattered the word “traitor”, and now I am an adult aunt, and also a lawyer. For me, the concept of “betrayal” no longer exists, except when we are talking about the betrayal of the Motherland. In other cases, betrayal is an absolutely personal perception, an unjustified expectation from another person.

Group “Direct speech”