School years in conflict – Picture of the Day – Kommersant

Health management service Budu asked Russians to evaluate the impact of the school on their self-esteem. A survey among one and a half thousand respondents showed that more than 80% in adulthood felt the psychological consequences of conflicts with teachers, and one in three could not get rid of them even with the help of a psychotherapist. 72% of respondents recall how teachers systematically yelled at them, 49% – how they made fun of them in front of classmates, 45% – how they took away or spoiled things in class. However, more than half of the respondents can still single out one or more teachers who showed genuine concern for them. Every fifth, remembering school years, misses teachers.

Conflict situations with teachers at school have affected the self-esteem of over 80% of Russians, the Budu health management service found out in a survey of over 1,500 Russians across the country. Conflicts with teachers arose among the respondents mainly in the middle classes (61%), in a third – in the older ones (30%). The dissatisfaction of the teacher, according to the respondents, could be caused by a variety of reasons: unfinished homework (32%), “dirt” in the notebook and poor handwriting (20%), expressing an opinion that does not coincide with the opinion of the teacher (18%), forgotten textbooks or notebooks (12%), inappropriate appearance (11%), bad behavior (10%). Many respondents recall how teachers systematically yelled at them (72% of survey participants experienced this), made fun of them in front of classmates or in front of their parents at a parent-teacher meeting (49% of respondents have such an experience), took away or spoiled things in class – for example, they tore out sheets in a notebook (45%).

In addition, almost half of the respondents (48%) said that teachers periodically lowered their grades for reasons unrelated to the real level of knowledge: “A teacher allegedly knows what each of his students is capable of. Therefore, for the same work done, one student gets a three, because “he could do better, but did not because of laziness,” and the other gets an five, because he “tried and showed himself well,” a child neuropsychologist of the Budu service comments on the survey. Alevtina Kuzmina. According to her, the lack of unified and clear assessment criteria in the mind of the teacher leads to the formation of manipulative communication skills in the child and skills of adaptation to “mood people”. And in some cases – to the emergence of an excessive desire for power: in a child who has experienced a traumatic experience of evaluating his activities, upon leaving a vulnerable position, an exaggerated desire for leadership may form.

Half of the respondents admitted that they perceive the teacher only as a provider of knowledge, but not as a person to whom one can turn for advice or help in resolving conflicts.

Of those who preferred to hide their problems from teachers (and this is almost half of the survey participants – 44%), one in four (28%) explained their unwillingness to trust by the fear of hearing “it’s their own fault” in response. Another 22% were afraid that the teacher would not believe them, 21% that the teacher would not be able to help even if they wanted to, 16% that the teacher would not care, and 13% that the teacher would ridicule them.

However, as the survey showed, these fears were not always justified: 44% of respondents who prefer to hide their problems from teachers admitted that when teachers did become aware of these problems, they provided support to students. And more than half of the respondents (57%) can remember one or more school teachers who showed genuine concern for them.

Half of the respondents said that a psychotherapist helped them to get rid of the influence of the past experience, and every third says that they are still experiencing this influence.

In general, despite the conflicts experienced, the vast majority of respondents (76%) feel nostalgic about their school years. In particular, every fifth (18%) misses teachers.

“In the framework of psychological consultations, the topic of school injuries is raised quite often. And these are precisely the plots associated with the humiliation of human dignity in public, which is subsequently hard experienced by every person, ”says Olesya Tolstukhina, a psychologist and specialist in psychodynamics at the Doctor Nearby telemedicine company. She notes that parent, teacher, mentor are very similar roles in content.

With a favorable set of circumstances, a child can already feel comfortable and safe at school from the age of seven, fall in love with the learning process itself and go through all stages of education quite successfully.

But more often, children quickly become disillusioned with the educational system, Ms. Tolstukhina states. And the school remains a place for communication with peers, and not for intellectual growth.

Julia Bolotova, a psychologist at the Doctis telemedicine service, believes that today the ability to communicate, learn, and interact in the classroom is more important than mastering the school curriculum. Therefore, teachers are required not only to know and communicate the subject, but also what is called soft skills: “The role of the teacher and the school as a whole is to create a psychologically comfortable atmosphere for the child both in terms of the possibility of socialization and in terms of the approach to learning.”

Vsevolod Lukhovitsky, co-chairman of the Teacher trade union, agrees that teachers should think about the psychological state of students, but “only insofar as they have the opportunity to think about it.” He notes that due to the workload and the ever-growing demands of the authorities in the field of education, modern teachers “often physically” do not have the strength and time for this: “You cannot demand from a tortured person that he be perfect in every respect.” Commenting on conflicts between teachers and students over grades, Mr. Lukhovitsky notes that they are often actually provoked by parents: “In my opinion, grades are mainly needed by parents, moreover, in order to compensate for their own problems coming from childhood.”

Natalia Kostarnova