Russians spoke about family education: not everyone can handle it

There are various legal ways to keep your child out of school.

For example, when homeschooling children whose health problems do not allow them to attend school, teachers come to teach at home.

Every family with a schoolchild has mastered another type of learning during the pandemic – those same distance lessons when a teacher teaches from a monitor screen.

Family education, approved by Article 17 of the Law “On Education in the Russian Federation,” is also in use. Parents take the student’s personal file from the educational institution, after which they will no longer be able to make any complaints about the school’s quality of education. By the way, a study conducted among parents, children and independent experts from Moscow State Pedagogical University showed that if during the coronavirus the family positively assessed the experience of learning remotely, then they generally feel good about the idea of ​​family education.

Does studying in a family mean turning a parent into a universal teacher in all subjects? Not always.

35-year-old Muscovite Daria is raising five daughters. The eldest Ulyana is 13 years old, Taisiya is 10, Albina is 6, she has Down syndrome. Dunechka became the fourth child in the family; she will soon celebrate her 5th birthday. And six months ago Alesya was born.

“When it was time for Ulyana to go to first grade, I went to an open day at school, talked with the teacher, with the director, and we… didn’t go there,” recalls the mother of the current 7th grader. – None of my children were in kindergarten. We are used to not parting, to always being in an embrace. For us, preparation for school, which I myself taught for Ulyana, smoothly flowed first into the first grade, then into the second, etc. It was so natural that my daughter, being a preschooler, it seems to me, did not even notice the transition to a first-grader.

“I didn’t think about teaching my daughter subjects in middle school independently seven years ago, I decided to look at the situation,” says Dasha. – I studied well at school, I remember a lot, but, of course, I forgot something. In particular, algebra. I leaf through textbooks, see what is written there, and remember. At least while I’m in seventh grade, it’s not difficult for me. True, it’s one thing to remember the program, another thing to teach it. I prepared for the educational process by immersing myself in other people’s experiences of family education, looking at what programs and textbooks there were, and selecting those that resonated with me. Information now is like goods in a supermarket. Personally, bloggers who have children in family education help me figure it out. Blogs provide plenty of food for thought. Each family has its own approach. If someone shares, you think, “Oh, this suits me.” But last school year our studies slowed down. I had a baby, one of the younger daughters was jealous, capricious, and it was very difficult to study. And then I attached Ulyana to the online school so that some kind of structure in acquiring knowledge would be maintained. I knew that she would listen to lectures on social studies, geography, biology and literature, take the basics from there, and what she did not understand, I would give her. I was completely left with mathematics, Russian and foreign languages.

It could be cheaper, it could be more expensive

“In the ranking of family education formats, according to a survey of adults whose children study this way, online learning is in the lead: children study online in schools, in courses, with tutors,” says Elena Petryaeva, head of the Center for Analytical Research and Modeling in Education at Moscow State Pedagogical University. – Almost a third of parents add face-to-face classes with tutors, communication with a psychologist, tutor, etc. None of the above is chosen by 12% of the families we surveyed. We studied how much it costs to study in the form of family education, and compared it with a public school (meaning paid extracurricular activities – author). The level of financial investments among those who choose to study outside of school is slightly higher. Thus, 27.5% of families with children in a regular school spend up to 10 thousand rubles, 29% spend on family education. Up to 20 thousand rubles – 25.4% and 38%, respectively. Up to 30 thousand rubles – 12.4% and 14%. Up to 40 thousand rubles – 5.4% and 13%. Over 50 thousand rubles are allocated by 4.1% and 6%.

Daria’s family budget for the school program of her two daughters – a 7th grader and a 4th grader – comes from maternity capital to pay for a significant part of the classes.

“Any children of school age are required to be assigned to some school, their personal file is there,” explains Dasha. – Although we live in Moscow, we chose a private school in St. Petersburg for its extensive experience in accompanying children in family education (every six months the girls take online exams, they recommend textbooks to us, and they send us mandatory topics to study from the Federal State Educational Standard). In the 7th grade, an academic year costs 18 thousand rubles, in the 4th grade – 16 thousand. We spend approximately 30 thousand a year on online classes in a number of subjects at an online school for our eldest daughter. At the beginning of the school year, we spend about 10 thousand on all textbooks (the St. Petersburg school does not give us paper ones, and interactive ones are not always convenient, so we buy paper textbooks). There are additional courses and intensive courses, for example in history. It costs 6–7 thousand rubles a year. Ulyana studied English online in a mini-group, it costs 20 thousand for six months, but now it’s problematic for us to pay for a foreign language, they refused. Taisiya bought online drawing courses. To be honest, it is difficult to resist the temptation to buy courses – there is a huge selection on the Internet. However, it is impossible to cram everything into a child.

According to an experienced mother, the most expensive thing is to hire tutors (perhaps in the 9th grade, when preparing for the OGE, Ulyana will hire an online teacher). Otherwise, the abundance of free or inexpensive Internet resources, including those presenting the material in a playful way, helps.

“You can educate a child for little money, but if you still have the funds, then the burden on parents will be less,” notes Daria. – Another question is that if both parents work, it is difficult to engage in family education. One of the adults should have the opportunity to work from home or not work at all and devote himself to teaching the children. But then be prepared for a lack of money from time to time.

Day off on birthday

The school day of Daria’s daughters follows a routine.

“For me, the main thing in classes is regularity,” shares Dasha. – In a large family, where there is a lot of things to do, you need to clearly know that at such and such hours we will be studying. I also set a minimum and maximum of what I study for the day. This is what is happening with us now. In the morning, while I am taking care of the little ones and preparing breakfast, Ulyana goes to read a history textbook. If cooking in the kitchen takes a long time – let’s say I’m baking pancakes for everyone – Taisiya and I start solving math problems at the same time (math is more difficult than other subjects, so we devote more time to it during the day). We had breakfast and I give Taya examples for independent work, and Ulya tells me material on history, after which she sits down at the computer to listen to lectures. We made a schedule with her for every day. The frequency was thought out in such a way that nothing would have time to be forgotten. She listens and does her homework. She regulates her own changes, I don’t keep track of it.

What about the kids?

“The little ones are very noisy, they run around, they need to go to the toilet, then eat, then they have a fight, then “look, mom, how I drew,” Dasha smiles. “They are children and cannot sit still for long.” I taught the little ones to play light board games. They leaf through books and tinker with dolls. Sometimes they sit next to each other and draw and sculpt. There is a rack in which there are boxes with different types of plasticine, paints, and felt-tip pens. Dunya has already learned to write numbers and letters, Albina is also trying. Together with Taisiya, they sit down at the computer to watch videos on the world around them and English.

Then the family has a walk, lunch and sleep. Mom reserves a quiet period for classes with her eldest daughter, who by that time is finishing her online lectures. And here the individualization of learning is in action again:

“In family education, if you see that the child has understood the topic, you will not sit on it for the prescribed hours, like at school,” says the mother. – On the contrary, you will linger on another topic. Some of the children are faster at something, some are slower, and you choose the pace of teaching. I don’t put marks. Studying for a good grade is wrong. Studying should be a joy. We write tests, dictations and immediately sort out errors.

According to the law, those who have registered for family education are allowed to do without external control, without exams, until the child graduates from the 9th grade (every Russian schoolchild awaits passing the OGE). If parents want to keep both themselves and their children on their toes, and want to understand whether they have deviated too much from the federal educational standard, they are offered intermediate certification. Dasha’s daughters are undergoing testing at the St. Petersburg school where they are assigned. No one is examined under the gun of video cameras – answer under suitable conditions, just within the allotted 4 hours. By cheating, who are you deceiving but yourself?

Vacations can also be handled as is convenient for the family. Dasha does not adhere to traditional vacation dates. She feels that the girls are tired or is close to burnout – she takes a break even in the middle of the week. Also, classes are canceled for everyone on the birthdays of any of the five sisters. The longest breaks in studies occur from New Year to Christmas, and June is declared a full vacation. The rest of the time, including Saturdays and Sundays, classes do not stop, except that they are in a light mode – the mother found the optimal balance for the girls between rest and maintaining working condition. The learning process is uninterrupted all year round. Maybe that’s why the First of September didn’t catch on as a holiday in this family.

It won’t be easy

“The notorious socialization… A common myth among critics of family education,” Dasha sighs. – My children do not live under a hood, they have friends: neighborhood kids, peers from singing and drawing clubs, from rock climbing and roller skating clubs where girls go, online friends in computer games. Ulyana and Taisiya calmly communicate with people, selectively make friends, they have no problems with this. I don’t protect my daughters from real life at all; they have enough experiences. But the fact that they study at home allows them to develop their self-esteem in a healthy environment. And also to the question of socialization. For some reason, everyone is worried about how a person will interact with society as an adult, but they are not worried about how he will live in a family. Close people often do not know how to negotiate with each other. My girls have a personal life, but they are included in family relationships as much as possible. I hope they will find it useful if they get married and have children in the future.

Daria approves of the caution of mothers and fathers who do not fully believe that they can be teachers. Overconfidence is undesirable. It’s more prudent to objectively assess whether you have enough patience, willpower, dedication, and perseverance.

“It won’t be easy,” she warns. – I can say for sure: a parent who chooses the role of a teacher in family education should like teaching. If you don’t want to delve into examples, geography, biology, if you don’t have a pedagogical inclination, you will burn out very quickly. In addition, the parent must have unshakable authority at home. I really love teaching. And it’s interesting for me to watch how a child begins to understand certain things, how he becomes smarter thanks to you. Growing up with children and being close to them is an incredible bonding experience. My daughters and I had a conversation about whether they wanted to go to school. They say no – they learned about school life from their friends, they are not attracted to it. I am considering the idea of ​​enrolling my daughter with Down syndrome in a special educational institution, but even then only for selective attendance of lessons, I am mainly going to teach her at home. To be honest, there was a difficult period when I wanted to send everyone to school, it seemed to me as if we were not achieving anything. But I changed my mind. In my opinion, when a child goes to school, another family member appears – the school. And I try my best to avoid the system.