Russians named masochists and bloodsuckers as role models in love

Russians named masochists and bloodsuckers as role models in love

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Discussions about whether it is permissible in Russia to celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 14 periodically remind us – due to the intensity of passions, of course – of Vysotsky’s old song about the fight against evil spirits: “Rozha, you overseas parasite! Get out, he says, without a fight, get out. And the Vampire,” he says, “take it with you!” Well, there is no need to explain who the “overseas parasite” is here: Saint Valentine, of course. And he must take with him all that foam of pink hearts and imaginary propaganda of fornication, which clearly contradicts the family values ​​of Russians.

It’s scary, it’s creepy!

Meanwhile, the results of a survey jointly conducted in early February by an online library and a popular dating application have arrived. Then the Russians told what kind of love story they dream about from books – and the results turned out to be very interesting. In the top 5 enviable, in the opinion of our compatriots, love stories were Assol and Arthur Gray (Have you all read Green’s “Scarlet Sails”?), The Master and Margarita, which are again in the news today due to the high-profile premiere, familiar to us from the 5th class Ruslan and Lyudmila, as well as characters from the book “Twilight”. Oh yes, and another Gray – the one about whom Fifty Shades of Gray was written.

Here, at a minimum, there is a serious reason to think: what are our people ready to consider as an example to follow? Good set. A girl who all her life meekly waited for the prince with scarlet sails promised by the storyteller. The relationship between a writer in permanent creative crisis and a married lady ready to sell her soul to the devil, who decided to drag the writer by the ears to heaven (or rather, to the peace he deserves). A story about a teenage girl who wants to quickly become “of the same blood” with her vampire boyfriend – but he, of course, cannot accept such a sacrifice. A brave prince and a beautiful princess, about whose relationship before the wedding the reader knows absolutely nothing – well, except that throughout the entire poem Ruslan “pinches his mustache with impatience” in anticipation of the wedding night. And, as an erotic cherry on the cake, a tyrant millionaire with an irrepressible sexual fantasy, who for three books in a row gets a thrill from the opportunity to subjugate a young virgin.

It’s scary, it’s creepy!

Impressionable “snowflakes” would probably say that there is already a ready line of patients lined up in front of the psychologist’s office. To be simpler and more cynical, you can try to make a discount on the age of the respondents (which, by the way, is not indicated). Well, suddenly everything is not so bad, and it’s just seventeen-year-olds fantasizing?.. It is known that relationships in which “everything is not so simple”, “the problem is not you, the problem is me” or “there is a lot to overcome first” seem romantic and attractive exactly until the moment you get into something like this on your own for the first time.

Meanwhile, in the novel “Gone with the Wind” (where relationships within couples also raise serious questions, but that’s not what we’re talking about) there is a wonderful phrase: “Have you ever tried to get married for pleasure?” And this question seems to be a much more serious cause for concern than the desire of people to celebrate the “alien” Valentine’s Day. If you look at the “samples for dreaming”, it becomes clear that there is no smell of pleasure here. People strive for intense passions, for unresolved dramas and unbearably beautiful romance with scarlet sails, but for a quiet, pleasant life for the sake of pleasure, it seems, not so much.

Although there is nothing to be surprised about. If you start delving into world literature, you will soon discover a catastrophic shortage of normal, happy love stories and examples of harmonious, adequate relationships between a man and a woman. The kind that don’t need to be labeled as “everything is complicated.” Everywhere you look there is either a total lack of reciprocity, or adultery, or painful attempts to save socially unreliable elements, or some other nasty thing.

For some reason you won’t find such examples in which everything would be simple and beautiful: he loves her, she loves him – and they live happily ever after. Again, no wonder: if there was no drama, there would be no plot. Tolstoy really spoke when he wrote: “All happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Well, what’s the point in writing about families that are similar to each other?..

Such examples – indeed examples to follow – if you can find them, then somewhere among the heroes of the second and third row in works that are not dedicated to love at all. For example, the Barrymores from “The Hound of the Baskervilles” – well, who pays attention to them while in the foreground Sir Henry howls on the moors, suffering because of Mr. Stapleton’s wife, whom he passes off as his sister? Meanwhile, the Barrymores have simply been living together for a long time, working together in Baskerville Hall (the husband is a butler, the wife is a housekeeper) and are enthusiastically covering for their convict brother, who is hiding in the swamps. And they clearly love each other.

Well, on the pages of “Harry Potter,” which is considered no less heresy and diabolical than Valentine’s Day itself, all seven books loom before the readers of the beautiful couple of Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Adult, kind, loving and even with many children!

It’s tight, it’s scary!

Published in the newspaper “Moskovsky Komsomolets” No. 29216 dated February 14, 2024

Newspaper headline:
From pain to Assol

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