Russian teachers explained why schoolchildren and schoolgirls stopped falling in love

Online combined with the violence of the real world – a dangerous mixture

School teachers are at a loss: high school students and high school girls have ceased to be interested in each other. There are no couples, no one carries portfolios to anyone home, there are also no unrequited sufferings, and unrequited love. As if the students are not at all divided into two sexes, the passions between which, in theory, should begin to flare up precisely at this age.

Why is this happening? We tried to figure it out together with the experts.

– I have been working at a school for a little less than 40 years, – says Elena Andreevna, a mathematics teacher at one of the Moscow schools, – and in all previous years I constantly observed romances between teenagers. This often created certain problems – for example, one 10th grader stopped going to school just before the exams, because he had a fight with his girlfriend and was very worried. I was a class teacher for this couple, I even had to go to his house, persuade, reconcile. And in the end she reconciled, the boy successfully passed the exams, at the graduation they did not leave each other, danced together, it was nice to watch. I don’t know how their life turned out later, such teenage love does not often result in long-term relationships, of course, but it should be, youth without love is sad … But now I don’t see anything like that – all the changes sit with their noses in smartphones, and if and communicate with each other, then mostly boys with boys, girls with girls …

Other educators are also seeing this trend.

“I don’t see any romance among students today,” says a teacher of Russian and literature from the Moscow region. – I must say that teenagers have become very rude and aggressive, and this is reflected, among other things, in their relationships with the opposite sex. Guys, if one of them is interested in a girl, then they don’t care – they just rudely pester. Girls do not remain in debt – they send them off so much that, in my opinion, any desire to abyss should disappear for a long time… into impregnable snow queens, the boys into nerds, whose whole life takes place in virtual reality. Either they are afraid of rejection, or they really don’t need anyone, I don’t know.

About why young people at an age when, according to the laws of nature, should be blown away by a hormonal explosion, remain indifferent to love, we talked with child and family psychologist Elena Moshkova.

– I think there is a complex of problems that coincided extremely unfavorably. First of all, of course, going online is “to blame”. Yes, it has become an integral part of our life, including personal life – in the virtual you can fall in love with virtual characters, and this is much easier than starting a real relationship. This problem has been around for a long time and is only getting worse. But in the last year, another one appeared – the children began to rapidly harden. Perhaps this is due to the current political situation, with constant talk about military operations, with the militarization of schools – I can’t say for sure. But the fact remains: the number of conflicts, bullying and assault in schools has grown dramatically in recent years, teenagers and even younger students are becoming more and more aggressive. And anger and distrust do not go well with tender feelings. Especially at a young age – if adults in some cases are able to correlate sex with aggression, then for teenagers these are completely different emotions, their sexual desire is still closer to tenderness than directly to sex. Therefore, the world around with its cruelty suppresses their sexual desire. And it’s very bad. For some, it can fade away completely, for others, the attraction later wakes up, but at the same time it turns out to be so strong and uncontrollable that such people become easy prey for numerous scammers and scammers from among the so-called marriage scammers. I recently had such a client – at the age of 32, he fell in love with a girl whom he met on the Internet, met her a couple of times, and as a result, not only transferred all the money he had to her, but also took out a big loan for her sake. He told me: I understand that she is divorcing me, but I can’t help it, I love her. In the course of our communication, it turned out that this man still did not have any relationships with women at all. And that is why they have now turned into such a perverted form.