Psychologist commented on the murder of a three-month-old sister by a six-year-old boy

The tragic incident in the Kazakh city of Zharkent, where a six-year-old boy stabbed his three-month-old sister to death, shocked many. On the morning of January 10, when a mother of many children took other children to school, the boy stabbed the baby, from which she died.

Now the police are investigating the circumstances of the incident, a criminal case has been initiated, a pre-trial investigation has begun under Article 99, part 3 of the Criminal Code of the Republic of Kazakhstan (murder). Parents themselves cited childish jealousy as the reason for this act. Child psychologist and psychotherapist Elena Moshkova told MK about how likely such a motive is, and what consequences children’s jealousy of parents can lead to.

– Children’s jealousy appears when a child feels a lack of love, attention. In large families, jealousy for the youngest is a factor in the competition in the struggle for the attention and love of mom and dad. This is normal, because the baby unconsciously understands that he cannot do without his parents, and for the sake of protection from encroachments on them, jealousy turns on.

However, jealousy is a terrible force, we all know how many crimes are committed under its influence, how many irreparable acts. It is wrong to think that only adults can experience such strong emotions. Yes, children have fewer opportunities to commit physical abuse, but the deterrents are much less developed. So this terrible thing happened.

– Could, in your opinion, parents prevent it?

– In this case, they made a gross mistake – as far as I know, a three-month-old baby was left at home alone with a six-year-old brother. This is unacceptable, even if until then there were no manifestations of jealousy and aggression. There is an iron rule: never leave a newborn alone with young children, even for a couple of minutes. Even if the mother goes to the toilet or the kitchen, she should take the baby with her.

Cases where the jealousy of the elder leads to injury to the newborn and even death are not uncommon. I know a story when a five-year-old girl threw her newborn brother out the window – the child was seriously injured. It was in my practice that the elder took the baby out of the house and left it on the bench on the street – fortunately, then he was quickly found, the elder himself was frightened of what he had done and told his parents.

– That is, in this case, the parents are at least to blame for leaving the children alone?

– Undoubtedly. I do not know what the Criminal Code of Kazakhstan can charge them with, but for me this violation of security is obvious. Well, if we talk about prevention, then there are a number of rules that parents must follow in order to avoid jealousy from older children.

For example, despite the fact that the appearance of a baby in the house takes a lot of time, you should not forget about the elder, set aside at least an hour a day to communicate only with him. You should scold him less – even for the cause. The elder should have confidence that he is still loved, convince him that, as before, you will support him and take care of him.

And in no case should you turn a child into a nanny! You can give only those tasks in relation to the baby, which he himself likes to perform. Perhaps this is exactly what happened in the Kazakh case, since the child was left at home to guard the baby.

Also, you can’t give the toys of the older to the younger – even if you think that he has already grown out of them and has not played with them for a long time.

– Does the strength of jealousy depend on the age of the older child?

– In general, the boy we are talking about was at the most unfavorable age from this point of view. He is no longer so small that he does not yet experience jealousy, and not so old as to understand the situation. The age from 4 to 6 is the most dangerous, you should be especially attentive to older children in these years. Although some begin to be jealous very early. Even one-year-old children often protest if their mother pays attention to other people.

However, the most terrible (albeit the rarest) can be the jealousy of a teenager, because in this case the pangs of jealousy are combined with hormonal changes.