Named 15 phrases that you should never say to a person in hysterics

A person in an acute state of stress who has fallen into a tantrum is rarely able to calm down on his own until he throws out all the emotions. Psychologists note that often others only increase the negative reaction, even if they try, as it seems to them, to help. There are many cases in which the neighbor allows himself passive aggression, thereby expressing his own dissatisfaction and, therefore, only aggravating the situation.

Clinical psychologist Elena Klen listed the 15 most common phrases that people hear in hysterics and which in no case should be said to them.

The first is “Just pull yourself together!”. How stated an expert for the site “Doctor Peter”, a person in hysterics cannot simply pull himself together, even though the hysterical state is painful for him. “Oh come on, you’re exaggerating” or “It’s okay” and “Could be worse” is a devaluation of feelings that can hardly help. The phrase “Now I’ll cheer you up!” can have the same effect. and an attempt to reduce everything to a joke. “You’re making it worse” – not only does not reassure, but also instills a sense of guilt. “You can’t help grief with tears” is erroneous advice, since crying helps to survive strong emotions and calm down, so that you can continue to deal with the problem.

The phrase “Everything will be fine” is dangerous, since the future is impossible to predict, and a person with false hope can get even more upset. The saying “Time heals” can have a similar effect.

The humble “So it was necessary” is not suitable for everyone at all and can provoke a decrease in self-esteem in a person due to the feeling that he is not in control of his life, a loser and so on.

“I told you it would be like this!” – even if they warned repeatedly and the correctness was confirmed, hysteria is not the best time to remind about it, so it is better to leave the debriefing for later.

The phrase “Calm down!”, everyone knows, does not lead to any calmness, just the opposite.

“I had this, and nothing” – also threatens to devalue the feelings of a person in hysterics and looks like an attempt by the speaker to assert himself at someone else’s expense.

“How are you tired of me!” – hysteria is definitely not good. If the neighbor really can no longer endure someone else’s crying, it is better to leave silently until the hysterical one calms down, but not aggravate the situation.

“Men do not cry!” – a stereotypical model that people are often taught to in childhood, but in the end this leads to suppression of emotions, their accumulation, and as a result, the risk of developing diseases of the cardiovascular system, nervous system, and gastrointestinal tract increases.

But there are also “correct” phrases in situations of hysteria that can help. For example, “I’m near, I hear you”, “I see how much it hurts you.” These words make a person feel that he is not alone, but at the same time no one condemns or ridicules him. “How can I help you?” – awareness of support is very important for a confused person. In some situations, it is better not to speak at all, but to be there physically or on the phone. At the same time, it is important for the helper to monitor their own emotional state and take care of themselves, since having “fallen apart”, it will no longer be possible to help another.

Read also: “The advice to ‘breathe deeply’ was just as harmful as ‘calm down'”