Kirkora gave advice to migrants from Zaporozhye and Kherson on how to establish a new life

– Forced migrants from the Kherson region and other regions, who could no longer stay at home because of the threat to life and health, having moved to other territories of Russia, face many difficulties. Including settling in a new place of residence. For them, this happened very quickly, many managed to take with them only the most necessary, documents and a minimum of personal belongings. The prospect of returning home to their usual place of residence is highly questionable for many. This is what hurts and worries them the most. Such people have a double psychological trauma: these are military actions, which in themselves are always a terrible event, and because of these actions, someone will have to leave their native lands forever and establish a new life, get to know new people, new territory …

Memories of the well-organized life that they had, of the social ties established over the years, cause them strong feelings, plunge them into a state of shock. In this situation, the most important thing for a person is to understand that, starting life from scratch, he is not alone. That he has support – close people, the state, people in the new society in which he found himself. Yes, he has to do a lot of different things: draw up documents in order to receive benefits, select new housing, look for work, send children to a kindergarten, school or university in a new place. Set up new social connections. All this can be scary, but you need to remember that this will not last forever.

During this period of time, it is very important, in my opinion, to correctly build an internal dialogue with oneself – to try in this dialogue to think not about the past, but about the present as the creator of the future, as the beginning of the future. Remember your past world, but do not regret it as a tragedy. Think of the current situation as an opportunity to build a new version of your life.

Local residents who encounter internally displaced persons, intersect with them at work or in children’s institutions, must understand their condition and support them. Surround with care, attention from that position – what if I were in such a situation? Any trouble is more easily tolerated by “the whole world.” When we see how many people are collecting humanitarian aid, how many local residents are providing free housing to displaced people from destroyed houses, this inspires optimism. After all, it is not only about the fact that a forced migrant is given concrete assistance, but the person who provides such assistance gets the opportunity to be involved, to realize his human qualities, compassion. We must not forget that such processes, which take place from time to time in society, can flare up in any place. And the human attitude towards each other allows you yourself, being in such a situation, to seek help from the society, to the person next to you.

There should be understanding and support, but in no case pity. To give people the opportunity to get on their feet, to help them, but not to do “instead of them.”

It is very important to give a person the opportunity to speak out or cry out, if he has such a need, so that inner pain and experiences do not materially transfer to the body, to human health. A person who finds himself in such a situation has the right to this pain in his soul, but it should not absorb his present and future life.

Of course, it is more difficult for those internally displaced persons who have children in their arms. You need to strive to equip your life in a new place, based on the environment familiar to the child: for example, enroll him in the same circles and sections in which he studied, save for him the additional education that he had, etc.

I would like to mention children separately. The child reads the state of the parents. The more calmly the parents talk about the situation, the more responsibility they show for organizing a new life and show understanding of where they are moving, the more calmly the child perceives all these changes. If mom or dad has panic inside, tragic moods from the series “everything is lost” and “everything is in the past”, then no matter what soothing words they say to the child, he will feel that something is wrong. And first of all, he will look for the cause of this whole situation in himself, that something is wrong in his family because of him. And then we start the process of psychological traumatization of the child.

When I communicated with internally displaced persons, I saw that at first they were concerned, of course, with their primary everyday needs: a roof over their heads, food, clothing, but when these problems were solved, the question arose – how can I be useful, how can I fit in into a new society? When talking with the residents of Severodonetsk, who live in dilapidated houses, in hellish living conditions, I came across what they asked: “Tell us what to do, organize us, we are ready to help others! We are not ready to stay at home.” That is, in the situation in which IDPs find themselves, it is important for them to participate in any collective stories in order to immerse themselves in a new society, get used to it step by step: in parent meetings at a new school, etc. Fear of the new scares absolutely everyone. But a person must feel friendliness and be sure that the new society is not belligerent towards the newcomer.

I would also like to remind you that those emotions that we conditionally call “negative”, meaning the feelings, irritation that may arise in people who have left their native lands, can and should be thrown out with the help of physical labor and sports. With the same morning jog around where you live. If necessary, there should be an opportunity to shout out, to cry in the forest. There is such a psychological technique – to write on paper about your pain and burn it, thus symbolically getting rid of negative and painful experiences. Listen to calm music, songs of your favorite authors, the noise of nature … Find time for the usual activities that you liked in that past life. Try to change yourself, your attitude towards reality. You can always ease the moment that you live, even in the most difficult situations.

The lives of many people have changed, including the lives of more than 300,000 mobilized people and their families. But our soldiers are now at the forefront to enable the internally displaced people to return to their homes someday. This is the hope that we give each other – risking our lives, giving part of our income, our time, a piece of our soul to those who need it. Russia has always been based on this association of people.