It became known at what age it is harmful to believe in Santa Claus

Children’s faith in Santa Claus with a bag of gifts at his disposal traditionally touches adults. Partly because in each of us there lives a child, or at least the memory of him. Memory tells you how it was: the heart skips a sweet beat, and then the whole being rejoices from the feeling of a miracle come true. “And these lights, and this whirling”: the New Year and Christmas atmosphere itself pleases even a skeptic.

“MK” collected children’s stories with Santa Claus. And I talked with psychologists about the age at which it is normal and useful for children to believe in a New Year’s miracle.

“I am cautious about dressing up as Santa Claus,” says 44-year-old Glafira. – And all because she sincerely believed in Father Frost and the Snow Maiden until she was 3-4 years old. Somewhere around this age, my dad decided to approach the New Year creatively and for some reason dressed up as a pirate. I remember my fear and a very uncomfortable feeling: it seemed like mine was standing, I understood that it was him. I can clearly see that my black leggings are acting as an eye patch. But it seemed like a pirate: the father honestly got into character and tried to grin angrily. Why is he doing this? And my mother is nearby, smiling. In general, from not understanding what was happening, from fear, I started screaming loudly. Upset my parents.

And then everything went wrong: in kindergarten I clearly saw that Santa Claus was not real, although everyone around me assured him otherwise. Apparently mummers came home and congratulated me; I recognized “grandfather” as Uncle Volodya from my father’s work.

And I somehow decided for myself that adults all lie and push lies. I didn’t believe in the fulfillment of desires; no one asked me about my true desires.

That’s why we don’t impose any Frosts on our boys, I’m 7 and 8 years old. They didn’t invite us home to congratulate us because the boys didn’t want to. We go to Christmas trees and New Year’s shows, the children love it. They write a wish list of gifts every year, and my husband and I fulfill them. The sons rejoice, run in the morning of January 1 and find the wish under the tree. They never asked us whether the real Santa Claus puts them there or not.

“What this girl experienced is cognitive dissonance,” says social psychologist Valery Raushinsky. – Apparently, there was an early development when the crisis of “giving up the ego” of 7 years happened earlier. The way out is characterized by the fact that the child loses his naivety of perception and gains observation and criticality. You can’t fool such a child on the chaff with leggings on. That is, you can change clothes, but present it as a masquerade, a joke. The new psychophysical state here came into conflict with the assurance of adults that the pirate was real. At 5 years old, they considered her still a baby. Apparently, no one thought much or looked further at this girl.

Therefore, the main advice to parents is to see and understand the child. Development can go beyond age limits in both directions. You can do without Santa Claus if the child does not believe. And if, on the contrary, he believes unconditionally, play along with him. If you start a conversation about “real or not,” you can talk about how our kindness, warmth, and care for each other is real magic. But you shouldn’t “sober up” a child who sincerely believes in a fairy tale, even if in your understanding he is “already big.” A zone of joy, hope for the miraculous and faith that desires will come true are an important part of personal development. This is the key to future trust in the world, understanding of justice and self-confidence. That is an important part of success and life satisfaction. Even if a 10-year-old child sincerely believes in a fairy-tale grandfather, there is no need to deprive him of this.

“My dad was a great inventor, for example, for the New Year he didn’t just put gifts under the tree, but came up with a chest of miracles,” says 35-year-old Maria. – Probably, the box had a mirror and a double bottom, in general, gifts appeared in it on their own. We also started talking to gnomes in a certain corner in the corridor. And the gnomes themselves appeared there, there were toys from “Children’s World”. And then they gave me gifts… In general, I believed in all sorts of miracles for a long time, even while studying at school.

A similar story happened with my children. My first marriage was early and very unsuccessful. For some time we lived with the children in a country house, and then a man looked after me. He gave the children a real fairy tale: for New Year he dressed up as Santa Claus, took a stick, and filled a huge bag with gifts. And he appeared to the children at dusk, through the snow… They saw him in the windows, he then went into the forest, and left gifts for them on the porch. There was so much joy, so much squealing. They saw him, the real one!.. In general, they believed in Santa Claus again at the ages of 8 and 10 years.

However, it happens that parents feel that the child is too stuck in childhood. Muscovite Liza is 12 years old and is already in 7th grade. But he still believes in Santa Claus and gifts from him. Lisa loves New Year and birthdays and often says that she doesn’t want to grow up…

“It is still often written that “staying in childhood” is not good, it is infantilism,” says neuropsychologist Svetlana Alekseeva. – That it’s bad to believe in Grandfather in the 7th grade, and not want to grow up… I don’t agree. A person and his brain develop individually, sometimes very unconventionally. And such a “belated” belief in miracles does not mean that the child is stupid, retarded and generally “something different.” This may be evidence of high non-standard intelligence and outstanding creative abilities.

Not a single child ever believed in Santa Claus until the 11th grade. Over time, any naivety and fantasy constructions are transformed. This, one might say, is what Green’s “Scarlet Sails” is dedicated to. Or the story “Basket with Fir Cones” by Paustovsky. There, too, the girl met a wizard in the forest, who promised to give her a gift many years later. The wizard turned out to be the composer Edvard Grieg, and he dedicated a musical symphony to Dagny, whom he met in the forest. At the age of 18, she accidentally went to a concert and heard music named after herself – this is a real story.

So parents should not worry that the child is playing too much. But, on the contrary, preserve a miracle for him. Especially in our technocratic times. Do not push him to grow up, do not assume that he is mentally behind. Do not “open your eyes” that Santa Claus does not exist. A person always has time to lose faith. Perhaps, anticipating this, the child is in no hurry to become an adult.