“Instead of a ring – a TV”: how to congratulate teachers on March 8

And therefore, without refusing to pay attention to ladies of other professions, I hasten to congratulate my colleagues – teachers on International Women’s Day, being perfectly aware that it was on them that the Russian school stood and will stand. To which I urge all other men. At least those who have children and grandchildren studying in schools.

Well, where there are congratulations, there are gifts. And gifts, as you know, are spiritual and material. Both of them, believe me, will be equally appreciated by the teachers. Let me illustrate this idea with specific recent examples.

The teacher made a fair remark to the young idler at the lesson and asked him to invite his father for a conversation. In response, she ran into a loud statement by a young boobie who had mastered the social science course well: “You will deal with my lawyer!”

Still, let’s not sin exclusively on social science teachers who explain to teenagers the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child of November 20, 1989. Most likely, the teenager has seen enough of detective series, where every second swindler, using his constitutional right, refuses to answer the investigator in the absence of a lawyer.

Let’s pay tribute to the father, who immediately responded to the teacher’s invitation. Hearing about his son’s statement, he literally turned green with anger and whispered: “He will have a lawyer at home, a jury trial and a prosecutor in my person …”

But the teacher has a delicate ear, and, fearing for the fate of the young talent, she cautiously asked:

– I hope it will do without “applied pedagogy”, in the sense of a belt?

– What are you, what are you! Father responded instantly. – In my arsenal of means of influence there is a measure that will be worse than life imprisonment.

– ?

– I’ll take away his smartphone and in return I’ll give my grandfather’s push-button phone with two buttons – “dad” and “mum”!

The humane teacher again stood up for the interests of the child:

“This punishment can cause him mental trauma. Is parole possible?

“Don’t worry, for God’s sake, even a complete amnesty is possible, as soon as he stops being rude to the teacher, and even more so to the woman!”

“Well, what’s the present here?” – you ask. And the fact that the man, the father of the family, correctly assessed the current situation, did not treat the teacher as a service worker, but completely took her side, thereby giving a pedagogical lesson to his offspring. Believe me: such an adequate reaction of a parent is not so common in today’s everyday practice. Why not a male spiritual gift to the teacher on the eve of the holiday?

But there are gifts and material. Just do not think that we are talking about gifts for the holiday with the collection of funds by the parent committees of the classes. This happens from time to time, but today the law considers such gifts as a bribe with all the ensuing administrative and even criminal consequences.

But material gifts in modern conditions acquire a kind of service character in the very service sector, to the workers of which educators do not want to consider themselves.

The wonderful actor Alexander Shirvindt said that after the premiere of the film “The Irony of Fate, or Enjoy Your Bath!” it began to be allowed everywhere free of charge in baths and public toilets. The same story happened to me, but on a much more local yard scale.

There is a hairdressing salon in the courtyard of my house, where my wife does a manicure, and I, having acquired inflexibility in the lumbar region with age, get a pedicure. Kazakh girls work there. By their original profession they are teachers of the Russian language. But in their homeland, the teaching of this subject is steadily declining, as the Russian language gives way to English there. There is no work at home, so they retrained as manicurists, finding work in Moscow.

But, as you know, there are no former teachers. Girls work the way they are used to at school, that is, they work conscientiously, putting their soul into a new craft for them.

As for me, thanks to the systematic publications in MK, it turns out that I became widely known in narrow circles. On the eve of the holiday, my wife laughingly told me about the unexpected proposal of the management of the hairdresser. The essence of the proposal was to have my ceremonial portrait as a “famous person” displayed in the salon in order to attract customers.

“You’re laughing in vain,” I said to my wife. – What they offer is called “franchising” in management – the use of someone else’s trademark. As a result, salon revenues will increase. Meanwhile, the prices for their services are rising day by day. We will agree to their offer if they serve you at fixed prices. This will be my gift to you for the holiday and at the same time a significant contribution to the family budget. In addition, for greater persuasiveness, I propose to place next to the portrait a plaster cast of my leg, on which a quote from Eugene Onegin will be inscribed: “You can be a sensible person and think about the beauty of nails.”

This, of course, is a joke, but there are gifts that are more significant.

It is known that love for a subject begins in a child with love for a teacher who teaches this subject. This is exactly what happened to one of the fifth graders. And then his dad pulled himself up. This is my old friend – a serious businessman. Widowed at an early age, he raised his son alone. Often visited school and fell in love with his teacher. Finally, it came to engagement. With deep admiration, he told me about the unexpected behavior of his chosen one.

“Imagine, I invited her to a jewelry store and asked: “Honey, choose a diamond ring for yourself. The price doesn’t matter.” And she, looking affectionately at me, said: can I have the latest plasma instead of a ring in my office? Yes, real teachers are like that: first think about school, and then about yourself!

Summing up all of the above, I again appeal to the men. Dear brethren, representatives of the stronger sex, even if you have not been in school for a long time, do not consider it hard to congratulate your former teachers even with a phone call. I am convinced that such a congratulation will be an invaluable gift for them.