How to get through hard times without breaking down

As the world has been moving from one crisis to another lately, for many of us this is a time of unprecedented struggle and upheaval. We have survived a global pandemic, dramatic changes in our daily lives, economic, political and social upheavals, as well as many natural disasters. In addition, there are personal traumas that people also face, such as the loss of a loved one, deteriorating health, unemployment, divorce, violent crime, and tragic accidents.

Experiencing difficult times can seriously affect your mood, health, and outlook, making you feel helpless and overwhelmed by stress and anxiety. Perhaps you are overwhelmed with many complex, conflicting emotions and you do not know how to move on with your life. You may even feel like your life is completely out of control and you are powerless to influence what might happen next.

While there is no way to avoid the sadness, adversity, and suffering in life, there are ways to regain a sense of control over the situation. Control is the ability to deal with change and trauma, which has always been an integral part of life.

Build your resilience

Building resilience will help you adapt to life-changing events, cope with difficult times, and recover from tragedy.

If you’re sensitive to emotional stress and find it hard to deal with adversity, it’s important not to think of it as some kind of character flaw. Resilience is not a permanent quality, it is an ongoing process that requires effort to build and maintain. If you have not experienced major adversity in your life before, it is unlikely that you have had the opportunity to develop the quality of resilience. However, using resonant past experiences can help you deal with the challenges you face today. If you have tried to cope with some negativity in the past, then at least you will weed out ways that do not help, for example, trying to muffle your feelings with alcohol. While it’s hard to get something positive out of a traumatic experience, try to find the positive in the difficulties you’ve had in the past. It can lead you to important actions, strengthen your resolve, deepen your empathy, and set you on the right path.

To develop resilience, stay focused, flexible, less afraid of new experiences or an uncertain future. Try to manage strong emotions, even those that you would rather avoid, such as anger. Strengthen your relationships with loved ones and develop communication skills, especially under pressure. Rest assured that you will eventually find a solution to the problem, even if it is not immediately obvious.

Spend time with family

An Irish proverb says that parents are the very first teachers. They are role models, they are your first company in this life. In situations where everyone turns away, as a rule, the family always remains on our side.

In difficult times, we need to remember the importance of family, relatives and friends, because it is they who help us get through difficult times, support us, even when we ourselves give up. It is the family that inspires us.

Communication with parents, even if they are older, will make you stronger mentally and emotionally more stable, because they lived their lives following the morals that family and society taught them, believed in love, relationships and better times. This is what everyone is missing today. Their life experience was not easy, but they survived and raised their children – you. It is in the family that the true morals and values ​​are revealed, which help to maintain a positive attitude, give strength to believe that the best is ahead of you.

Family advice can solve many of your problems. And remember that your children, in turn, also need a sense of belonging and security, because they need to know that they have someone to lean on. Family time spent together contributes to the development of a deep and strong bond that helps all generations of the same family in difficult times.

That is why it is so important to set aside time for family discussions, when you can present the problems that have arisen to everyone, and then discuss them with your parents and children, getting their opinion. This will help you better understand what exactly needs to be done. And daily intra-family rituals or little things help create a sense of satisfaction and inner security, as opposed to the constantly changing outside world.

Seek sources of spirituality

When a person is going through hard times, when it seems to him that life is going nowhere, special spiritual energy and willpower are needed. Here it is worth remembering that life is not only about making good money and raising children. Many turn to God, who helps us to believe that no matter what happens, everything will work out in the end. However, in order to walk this path and not get lost in the lies that the idea of ​​God is often shrouded in society, you need to look for the divine spark in your soul, and not go to the so-called gurus, mentors, etc. Each religion has Holy Books that indicate the path of a person in earthly life, and it is better to draw support from them in order to gain your own spiritual experience.

And do not forget the Indian proverb: “Religion is for those who are afraid of hell, and spirituality is for those who have already been there.” Being spiritual does not automatically mean becoming free of negative thoughts, it means that we simply quiet our mind whenever a negative thought comes and let it “pass by” without thinking about it and thereby harming our mental health. Also in India they say: “The gods are before you, and you must choose one.” This means that everyone has the right to choose their own sources of spiritual energy.

Avoid toxic people and ideas

The word “toxic” means poisonous. There are a lot of things around us today that are “poisonous” to our mental, emotional and physical health. But if certain things we cannot avoid, then we can refuse to associate with toxic people. Often it is these people who exacerbate negative perceptions, carry psychosis and play the role of either the executioner or the victim.

Therefore, it is very important who you deal with every day. People who increase your anxiety will in no way contribute to your survival in difficult times, rather the opposite. Therefore, there is one good piece of advice: when talking with such a person, mentally imagine that you are communicating with him through some kind of glass. This is not a joke or protection from the “evil eye” – it’s just that this option has an important psychological point. It lies in the fact that by putting up such an imaginary defense, you subconsciously stop taking what was said too close to your heart.

Also take a break from IT and spend some time in the real world. But not in terms of solving everyday problems and buying rolls of toilet paper, along with kilograms of buckwheat, but just go out into the courtyard of your house and see how the sun shines brightly, how blue clouds float across the sky, neighbor children laugh and play. What for? Then, it is precisely such moments that are the main evidence that no matter what bad things happen, life goes on as usual and sooner or later everything will return to normal.

Use introspection

Every person in today’s realities has a combination of positive and negative thoughts. And these thoughts are only your choice. The world will continue to shower you with negativity, and it is up to you to transform it into positivity. Whenever you feel really bad, you should calm down and do introspection in order to understand whether the negative is caused by a real problem presented to you by life or invented, if not by you, but still.

Applying introspection involves creating a quiet space around you to be able to mentally ask yourself questions. It’s even better if you take little notes about your daily life. It was not for nothing that the nobles in the 19th century decided to keep a diary – this made it possible to analyze creatively and find the right solutions. So you stay creative – write down your thoughts, study history, read religious books or autobiographies of famous people. Many of them have had very difficult episodes in their lives, and you will most likely find something that will be similar to the current situation.

Remember that the most important work you have to do is simply to live in harmony with yourself, accepting life with reasonable enthusiasm. Nobody is eternal, people come into this world and leave it, but it is better to deal with negativity in a fruitful way than being constantly in tension.

And we should not forget the main thing – difficult times do not last forever. Good comes to those who do good, and evil comes to those who do evil. All our actions are the end result of our thoughts, so it is very important to keep our thoughts in harmony. And no matter how difficult the time may seem, we must remember that bright days will definitely come.

Opinion

Olga Mazur, psychologist:

– It is naive to believe that the best way to get through difficult times is to ignore painful emotions by putting on a “brave face”. Unpleasant emotions exist whether you acknowledge them or not. Trying not to let your emotions surface will only increase stress, delay acceptance of the new situation, and prevent you from moving on.

By allowing yourself to feel your emotions, you will find that even the strongest, most upsetting feelings will pass, the trauma will begin to fade, and you will be able to find your way forward. Talk to someone you trust about what you are experiencing. And remember that hard times don’t always involve some sort of loss. And if the loss did occur, it is important to give yourself the opportunity to grieve. Only by coming face to face with your grief, acknowledging your losses, can you be healed and, ultimately, move on with your life.

Talking to friends and family when you’re going through tough times can help relieve stress, lift your spirits, and make sense of all the changes. You can draw strength from others. The people you are talking to need to be willing to just listen to you without judgment. In fact, what is being said or the words used are often irrelevant. It’s the human connection – eye contact, smile, or hug – that can make all the difference to how you feel after a conversation. Nothing is more beneficial than being with a caring and empathetic person.