How to deal with anger: meditation, humor, psychologist

Anger is neither a bad nor a good emotion, it is just inherent in every person. In fact, it can sometimes help you be honest or stand up for what you believe in. There is nothing wrong with being angry. What matters is how you manage and express your anger.

If you master anger management skills, no one guarantees that you will always be in a good mood, but the likelihood of doing things that you can later regret very much will be significantly reduced.

So, here are some tips on how you can learn to control your anger.

Identifying sources of anger

Make sure you’re angry

It should be said right away that many people are not aware of the fact that they are angry or express their displeasure in situations that do not require it. To understand whether you need to deal with anger, it is helpful to listen to others’ opinions about your behavior, as it is often easier for outsiders to assess your manifestations. The first step in dealing with anger is to recognize that you have it.

Along with learning to recognize your anger, learn to recognize when your anger is on the rise. You may notice that anger goes through stages from annoyance to frustration, from anger to rage.

Identify physical manifestations of anger

Anger manifests itself in many ways, but is usually accompanied by physical changes in the body that can help you recognize that you are angry. Here are some physical signs of anger: increased blood pressure and heart rate; general redness of the face or a feeling of heat in the neck and face; clenching of the jaws or grinding of teeth; rapid headache or stomach pain; increased sweating; shaking or shaking; dizziness.

Identify the emotional manifestations of anger

Emotional markers also indicate the onset of anger in a person. Here are some of the emotional signs to look out for: feeling like you want to get out of the situation; feeling irritated, sad, or depressed; feelings of guilt, resentment, or anxiety; Feeling like you want to lash out at someone verbally or physically.

Identify Changes in Behavior

Anger is also accompanied by changes in behavior. Changes to watch out for: excessive rubbing of the face and head with hands; clenching fists; marking time; sarcasm; loss of sense of humor; offensive or rude actions; desire to drink, smoke or do something else that will relax you. This also includes a sudden rise in voice to screaming or crying.

Ask yourself a question

Since anger is often the first reaction to any stressful situation, it is helpful for you to ask yourself, “Why am I angry?” You will most likely find that the situation in which you expressed anger does not require such a violent reaction. And when you carefully study all the nuances, you will understand that anger does not help and does not provide a real solution to the problem.

Learn self-control

Often people who can’t handle anger don’t really have a problem with anger, but rather a lack of self-control. Undoubtedly, it is stressful when you have to face a situation over which you have little or no control. However, it must be understood that angry reactions will not change the level of your influence on the situation and, more often than not, will only aggravate the level of stress, which will lead to even more damage.

Possibility of mental disorders

It is worth knowing that overwhelming feelings of anger in situations that do not require it can often be a sign of an underlying psychological or mental disorder. Bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and dissociative identity disorder are just some of the psychological conditions that can lead to an excessive anger response. These conditions cannot be overcome on their own, they need to be treated. They may be the reason for contacting a psychologist or therapist.

Environmental influence

Your inability to deal with anger may be the result of negative environmental influences. However, before you try to get rid of situations that make you angry, you need to find out as much as possible about the people who provoke your anger and determine whether their reaction to them can lead to you becoming even angrier.

Rate retrospective

When you realize that you have anger management problems, remember situations in which you reacted with anger. Did your violent reaction improve these situations? Did the real source of the problem alleviate your anger, or did you fix the problem that made you angry? For adequate people, the answers to these questions are usually “No”. In retrospect, you will get some idea that your anger does not solve anything. You failed to get rid of stressful experiences, and the situation that initially made you angry was not resolved with anger. In this case, you must consciously try to replace the anger that you are used to expressing with another reaction.

Ways to overcome anger

Hold up your reactions

If you rely on anger as your first response to any stressful or frustrating situation, one useful technique for coping with anger is to intentionally delay any response to the situation. This delay will give you time to collect yourself before you openly express anger towards anything.

Use the counting to ten method before reacting to a stressful situation. Thanks to this, you will be convinced that there is still time to process the information that you are faced with, and that you are able to give an adequate and balanced answer to it.

Eliminate sources of anger

If you are aware that you get angry too often, chances are that you are not an angry person in your own right, but simply do not deal with situations that make you angry. Taking a vacation or well-spent free time can help reduce overall stress levels. After that, you will be able to return to situations that annoy you with a fresh perspective and a higher level of composure. This should help to suppress manifestations of anger.

Avoid reasons for anger

Sometimes a person who is angry is simply reacting to constantly frustrating social or professional factors. For example, you may be angry because you are working in a stressful situation or because you have surrounded yourself with people whose views, opinions, or actions you dislike. It is helpful to understand here that you are not an angry person, but are willingly putting yourself in situations that make you angry. People are different and have different thresholds of tolerance. If you experience constant stress at work, it may be helpful to find another job. If you’re constantly upset or angry at the way your friends and family behave towards you, it might be time to separate yourself from those people.

Think Positive

An important method of dealing with anger is to realize that life is more than constantly expressing one’s dissatisfaction with disappointing situations. Your life should be the pursuit of happiness and peace. When you get upset, look for solace in the things that make you truly happy.

Look at yourself from the side

A helpful way to deal with your anger is to think about how you would deal with your reaction if you were someone else, putting yourself in the shoes of the people who see your outburst of anger. You may realize how inappropriate your reaction was and that you would like to resolve the situation in a more positive way.

Go in for sports or yoga

Physical exercise, such as running, tennis, or yoga, can help reduce the frequency and level of anger you experience in social and professional settings. Expending energy regularly in other ways can make you less prone to angry or emotional outbursts.

Improve communication channels

Sometimes anger can be the result of ongoing misunderstandings with other people. So if you work on improving your communication methods, you may find that your day-to-day interactions with others are less frustrating over time. And this, in turn, leads to fewer outbursts of anger.

Practice Meditation

It has long been known that meditation has a positive effect on the emotional side of our lives. Research shows that in addition to physical relaxation and a sense of calmness, mindfulness meditation increases gray matter density in areas of the brain associated with learning, memory, self-awareness, compassion, and introspection. And all these qualities together are extremely important in order to control your anger.

Use humor

If you find yourself in a situation that makes you angry or upset, try using humor to cheer yourself up. Funny or light-hearted jokes can reduce tension levels, as well as those around you, making it much less likely that you will reach a “boiling point” when you feel the need to get angry.

Ask for help

If simple anger coping mechanisms fail, you may not be able to solve your problem on your own. Many books and websites offer methods for managing anger, but you may find that you need more personal help from a psychologist. In this case, you need to seek help from a respected and competent specialist. While any psychologist will let you talk about your problems, it’s important to find one who has experience with anger management. It is important to understand that therapy with such a specialist is often an ongoing process that can take years and that your problem may never go away. However, you can learn how to manage it.

Expert opinion

Elena Berezhkova, psychologist:

“Sometimes writing can help you understand why a person is angry and how to deal with it. Try writing an imaginary letter to someone to find out what makes you angry, how you react to the situation, and how you want to deal with your feelings. Then reread your letter. This method will allow you to express your feelings, and reading your own letter will allow you to look at things from the outside. You may find that your feelings subside after writing, or writing will help you find a solution to a problem.

When you’re angry about something, it’s nearly impossible to resolve the situation in a productive way. If you feel like you’re losing your cool, just step back from the situation for a while. You will deal with it when you feel calmer.

Exercise is a great way to let off steam. You can walk around the block, go for a run, or do something very energetic. Talking to someone you trust, like yourself, will help take the weight of anger off your shoulders as well as your mind. This could be a partner, friend or family member.