Belotserkovskaya spoke about her connection with the late Grachevsky: “Borya has not gone anywhere”

The incident knocked the girl down so much that she could barely stand on her feet. Belotserkovskaya, in fact, was brought back to life only by her little son Philip, who will turn 4 in April. They say that time heals, and over the years the pain goes away, but Boris Yuryevich’s widow believes that the pain has not gone away, we just need to move on. At least for my son’s sake. On March 18, Grachevsky would have turned 75 years old. On the eve of the anniversary, we talked with Ekaterina about how she, her little son Philip, lives, and how she preserves the memory of her husband.

– Ekaterina, for many fans the date March 18 is inextricably linked with the birthday of Boris Grachevsky. How will you spend this day?

– We will spend this day the way we usually spent birthdays, with our family: sisters, granddaughters, nephews. We will definitely go to the cemetery, remember him, and sit somewhere. For us he is alive, so we will celebrate his anniversary.

– How did Boris Yuryevich like to celebrate birthdays?

– He always loved meeting with those closest to him. We usually gathered somewhere in a restaurant, most often in the Central House of Writers. Well, on my anniversary I always went out with all my friends.

– Two years ago, a monument was erected on the grave with Boris Yuryevich’s favorite photograph. Has anything changed since then?

– No, everything is still unchanged. I take care of the grave. In winter, of course, I hire a person, because there is ice and snow – it’s hard to clear, but in summer I clean it myself.

– Does anyone besides you bring flowers to the grave?

– Yes, they appear there all the time. Thank God, many people remember him. This year, on the anniversary of January 16, we gathered at the grave, and when we started to leave, only his sister remained there. And suddenly some people approached, she asked in surprise: “Who are you?” They replied that they were fans. So every time I go to the grave, I see that there was one of his fans.

– Has son Philip visited his father’s grave yet?

– Not yet, he’s still small, he still doesn’t understand what it all means. So there is no point in bringing him here. We haven’t talked about this topic yet.

– Tell me, how do you and Philip live now? The child probably takes up the lion’s share of the time?…

– Not the lion’s share, but all the time while he is small. This is normal, I’m not the only one, absolutely everyone is like that. Now he has started going to kindergarten for half a day. We get up very early, go to the garden, we have to pick him up at 12 noon, because he still refuses to sleep or eat in the garden. But we have a very good kindergarten, and they also believe that the child should get used to it and become ready to stay there all day. So that there is no psychological trauma, so that it is not difficult for the child. It is clear that there is a situation when there is no opportunity, and parents are forced to leave the child in any case. But, thank God, while I have the opportunity, I try to devote all my time to my son. Besides, I love him so much, he is the light in the window for me, and, naturally, I am ready for anything.

– He probably feels it and sometimes twists ropes out of his mother…

– Well, not sometimes, but always (smiles). And that’s okay. Besides, I’m the kind of mother who can be twisted into ropes. He’s very good at it.

– Did you somehow prepare him for kindergarten?

– I told him that we would soon go to kindergarten, there would be a lot of children there, friends would appear. He looked at me and said, thoughtfully: “Okay!” When we came to kindergarten on the first day, he had terrible tears: “Mom, don’t go.” I sat with him for another half hour in the group, then somehow I tore him away from me, went into the nearest coffee shop, my heart broke, I sat there crying. Suddenly the teacher sent me a photo of my child playing calmly. She wrote: “It’s okay, don’t worry.” You know, my happiness simply knew no bounds. I realized that he only behaves like this in front of his mother.

The first week he walked an hour and a half a day. When I came for him in the first days, he ran to me, he was so happy that they were taking him away. Then I got used to it. But, of course, if he sits at home for a long time, for example on holidays or on sick leave, then he again needs to get used to the garden, because the child does not want to go there. But then it remains in the garden, and everything is fine. Now he comes home and tells us what they did, what they studied. By the way, this is an ordinary state Jewish kindergarten, but it is very good.

– Is it far away or do you walk?

– Not very far, next to the Krasnye Vorota metro station, but we go because you can’t walk with a baby in winter; it’s not May outside.

– Do you drive yourself?

– Not yet, I can’t decide on this. Sometimes the thought of getting behind the wheel slips through my mind, but then a maternal instinct awakens in me, some kind of fear. In general, when you become a mother, some crazy fears appear, everything around you changes. If before I was quite an extreme person, I could even jump from a bungee, but now I am terrified of all this. When I review my photographs, where I am standing on the cliff of Mount Ai-Petri, photographing something below, and there is just a cloud on me and I am completely wet through and through, I think: “Why did I even do this?” It didn’t cost anything to fall over there: you get dizzy – and that’s it, you’re down.

– Now, as I understand it, there’s no time for Ai-Petri…

– Of course not. Now I am already so careful in every sense. The desire to be photographed at an insane height has already passed. Before you do anything, you sit and say to yourself: “I’m a mother, I’m alone, I have no right.”

– Is anyone helping you cope with the child now?

– From time to time, my mother and my younger sister come, we have a difference of 20 years. She is studying to become a cartoonist in Moscow and draws well. In general, I was lucky with my son – he seems to have some kind of factory settings. I have never had sleepless nights, except when he is sick. I don’t have a housewife, I do everything myself. I keep dreaming about the twenty-fifth hour in the day, but I already understand that one extra hour won’t be enough for me either. I have no free time at all. As soon as it appears at night, after I put the child to bed, I need to have time to clean up, wash, and cook something.

– By the way, Boris Yuryevich told me about your culinary talents in almost every interview. What’s usually on your table now?

– I am a lover of Italian food: pasta, salads. Everything is much simpler for a child, he took after me. I didn’t eat meat until I was 14 years old, and he’ll probably be like that. For him, the main thing is to have porridge and fruit. Everything is simple with him.

– What did Boris Grachevsky love?

“He loved everything, and he loved meat very much.” Previously, he was indifferent to fish, but I started cooking it – he began to adore it. He liked gefilte fish, stuffed fish, but it was long and difficult to prepare. A lot of time was wasted, but it was eaten up in one second. Naturally, I cooked it only on holidays. He didn’t eat meat often because I kept him on a diet. Red meat was allowed once a month, and, of course, he waited for this day to eat just a piece of steak.

– It’s amazing what willpower he had…

– Yes, that’s right, he tried. Well, of course, I also took a creative approach to the issue and prepared a varied menu of chicken and turkey five times a day. I even learned how to make PP cakes from whole grain flour (PP is a healthy nutrition system – editor’s note). I mixed bran instead of flour and made it without sugar using licorice. It was all incredibly tasty, and even I liked it.

– Katya, tell us about your wonderful son. Does he already have his dad’s talents?

– It’s too early to talk about this yet. I don’t believe it when someone starts saying that their baby is into this or that. Children at the age of three are interested in everything you offer. He says “Yes” to everything. Then he told me that he wants to do kickboxing. He doesn’t even know what it means, he just liked the word “kickboxing” (smiles). As soon as he saw what needed to be done there, he said: “No, let’s go home.” I believe that before five years it is generally impossible to say in which direction a child will develop. Of course, there are children who play professional sports, they start at three years old and already live by it, but this is rare. In general, I do not limit my son’s right to choose.

– If he says: “I want to be an actor or director, like dad,” how will you react to this?

– I will never resist anything. Of course, I will explain to him all the hardships, but I will not say that I am against it. And in general, nowadays you don’t have to worry, because you can get a second education, which will not be acting, online. Now you can get at least ten diplomas by studying in absentia.

– You are a professional actress, but have you ever thought about acquiring a new profession?

– I thought I was going to study to become a psychologist. Now I understand that I am interested in this in general, and also in order to quickly find a common language with my child. In general, everything for me comes from my family, I am dedicated to my family, and I do what will be useful for my family.

– Philip is growing up as a little fashionista, this can be judged from photographs from social events. Did you take after your dad?

– I think so, but it’s hard to judge now, he’s still small. Although he already chooses his own clothes: I won’t wear this, I want this. But this is absolutely the same as with all children. And if you see that one does not fit the other, you begin to explain to him that this and that are better. If you allow him to wear whatever he wants, it will be impossible to cultivate taste in the child. The right to choose, naturally, should exist, but it must be carefully adjusted.

– But some character traits were still passed on from dad, is this already visible?

– Yes, he is a gentle, incredibly affectionate boy. He says not mother, but mommy, not woman, but grandmother. In this regard, he is like Borya: gentle, affectionate and very tactile. He constantly needs a hug and a kiss.

– As far as I understand, you now live in Moscow, in an apartment, but do you go to the country house where you lived in perfect harmony for many years with Boris Yuryevich?

– Of course, I come. First, you need to take meter readings, plus pay for house maintenance, security, utility bills, etc. The house is heated in winter, even when you are not living. Because if you turn off the heating, the house will freeze. You need to keep an eye on a house like this, you know.

– I heard that this house is still the subject of a dispute between the heirs…

– The house is not the subject of a dispute, thank God, everything has worked out between the heirs, although, unfortunately, it will have to be sold. We all have different families, we will have to do this. It’s a pity to sell such a house, it’s an incredible pity, it’s a memory of Bor, but nothing can be done. I don’t have the means to buy it myself. The main thing now is for the other person to calm down with his endless trials, but I don’t even want to mention this name…

…But we understand who we are talking about. (After Grachevsky’s death, former “friend” Arkady Grigoryan sued the widow and children of Boris Grachevsky in order to obtain more than 18 million rubles of alleged debt, now the process is not completed – editor’s note). Then I suggest not to raise this topic again. Let’s talk about real friends. Boris Yuryevich has always had a huge social circle; does anyone keep in touch with you now?

– Certainly. I communicate with the Vitorgans and Dolinskys. Of course, we are all friends, they support me. Emmanuel and Irina gave him a birthday party at their home for Philip’s two years. That was great.

– I recently saw on social networks that you and your son were visiting the Vitorgans again…

– Yes, their daughter Ethel had a birthday, she turned six years old. It was a bright, beautiful holiday.

– Have your children become friends yet?

– They still have a big difference with Philip – two years, so they still hardly maintain friendship. They only play together sometimes. But in the future, I think, they will begin to communicate, because two years will no longer be a significant difference. For her, he is still a baby. Here Borin’s grandson, the son of his niece, said something very funny when he was coming to visit us. They told him: “You and Filyusha, please talk.” To this he replied: “How should I talk to him – like a baby?” (laughs). But there is not long to wait – children are developing very quickly. I look at my son as he was a year ago, and I see what a huge difference there has been.

– Three years have passed since Boris Grachevsky left, during this time you have already recovered psychologically, can we say that the pain has gone away?

– No, although I thought I had recovered. I was here filming a program, I saw a photo of Bori on the screen – and it hit me again. The pain will not go away, it can only become dull. Am I crying? Yes, of course, I’m crying. Is it hard for me? Yes, of course it’s hard. But at the same time, I am a happy person, because he was in my life. Because I know what it is to love, what it is to be loved. And many people don’t know this. I am a happy person because, despite the fact that he is gone, for me he is alive. I still feel him, he protects us, he hasn’t gone anywhere…