After the eaten Ivleeva guinea pig, it remains to “strangle Kirkorov”

After the eaten Ivleeva guinea pig, it remains to "strangle Kirkorov"

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A few tips for bloggers to get more hype

No, well, what do I need this for? I didn’t strangle Kirkorov in the forest! But, nevertheless, every morning the maid puts an iPhone with a blue border on my table, and there is another highly non-artistic hype of another short-sighted blogger …

This time Nastya Ivleeva excelled. She fed a guinea pig to Internet presenter Alena Zhigalova, and then began to make excuses for it in an ornate way.

Say, I am not me, and the pig is not mine. Why make excuses? “We all are what we eat,” Hippocrates once said, and you can’t argue with that. And you can’t get the guinea pig back. Not from the bowels of the stomach of Alena Zhigalova, not from the heads of Internet users …

No! Certainly! We all eat up after someone … For a worm – a ripe apple, for a snail – a porcini mushroom, we finish drinking fresh milk for a calf … But to eat a snake ?! Eat her lawful food?! Namely, the delivery of frozen pigs and mice intended for feeding reptiles from a specialized store explained Ivleeva the appearance of a corpse in the studio.

Although, on the other hand … Well, they ate … Alive and well … So, you can feed valuable reptiles.

And by the way, why didn’t the Internet presenters themselves kill the guinea pig? Danish 24/7 radio host Esger Juhl killed a rabbit named Alan on live television. He said it was “a lesson for the hypocrites who advocate for animal rights and at the same time buy meat in stores.”

And then he took the dead rabbit home, along with his children of six and eight years old, skinned it and ate it in the form of a stew. They could have done this with a guinea pig to prove the hypocrisy of journalists … But Ivleeva’s small intestine turned out to be – where can she reach for real propaganda of European values! Then again, she’s a girl…

But the main thing is what? The main thing – the audience hawala! For nothing, what a fool. Why stupid? Yes, because now she accuses Ivleeva of cruelty to animals. Where’s the cruelty to animals? If the pig was already a corpse? There is cruel treatment of the audience and mockery of other people’s food. Because the snake would swallow the whole carcass, and Alena Zhigalova bit her neck …

On the other hand, what else could she do? If the alternative was to hand over the correspondence on the phone. Here you can bite the neck of a dead guinea pig, here you will gnaw off Ivleeva’s head …

In fact, well, just everyone was outraged! Even the head of the Safe Internet League, Ekaterina Mizulina, who called the fragment of the video with the pig “rare moronicity.” “The whole country is fighting animal cruelty, and here is direct propaganda for a large audience. How many videos of baby pigs will we see on social media tomorrow?” – said the head of the LBI and recommended Ivleeva “turn on your head before making inappropriate jokes for hype.”

Of course, you should always turn on your head. And not just before you shoot something. But, my God, how can you do it in this case? “Uri, Uri, where is her button?”

Of course, the majority will forgive Ivleeva. After all, not to forgive is not to watch her channel. And there are so many more things to do! You can, for example, invite a person to reach his toes to his mouth and suck them, or drink something that fans of urine therapy love. Or you can generally strike in the stomach – offer to explain the essence of the second law of thermodynamics – so hype so hype!

Only, I beg you, do not strangle Philip Kirkorov for the sake of viewing on the Internet! Not in the studio, not in the woods.

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