A survey on sex among Russians showed unexpected results

There is sex in the Russian Federation

In 2023, 1.245 million children are expected to be born in Russia—this is the minimum since 1999. Now the population of Russia is experiencing the consequences of the demographic hole of the 1990s – early 2000s, and, according to experts, we will fall into the demographic hole until at least 2026.

The demographic situation has been in the focus of public attention for several years now. But are Russians themselves ready to have children? Do they even want to have sex? Is sex life equally important for women and men? What is the role of sex in relationships and what stereotypes are alive in this area?

To get answers to these questions, as part of the large-scale Women’s Health Index study, VTsIOM conducted a survey among 1,240 women and 605 men of reproductive age (18–45 years).

“Based on the results of the study, we can say that there is sex in the Russian Federation,” says Kirill Rodin, director of government relations at VTsIOM.

The good news is that for 77% of Russians it is important or very important to have a sex life, although for 18% of Russians of reproductive age it is still not important. Surprisingly, the peak of importance was recorded in the oldest age category among respondents—35–45 years. For 80% of them, it is important to have intimate relationships with the opposite sex. But among young people (18–24 years old) those who value the joys of sex are only 63%. In addition, among young people the lowest percentage of those for whom sex is very important is only about 20% of respondents. 28% of women and 27% of men of this age generally refused to consider it a significant part of life.

“There is a trend of asexuality among young people. For now, these are marginal social phenomena, although it is unknown where these hipsters will end up,” continues Rodin. — The small number of those who value sex in the youngest age category is partly explained by the fact that the debut of intimate life for many people—almost half of those surveyed—comes at the age of over 18–20 years. Plus, for young people, sex is more commonplace than for older people.”

If we analyze Russians based on their matrimonial status, sex turns out to be more important for those who are married. 81% of married women and 94% of married men called intimate relationships “very important” or “rather important.”

And if we make a gender comparison, then for men sexual relations are of greater importance than for women (69% versus 63%).

What is sex for Russians? The respondents chose the following answers: the opportunity to receive pleasure, express love, physiological need, the possibility of procreation (66%, 61%, 48% and 42%, respectively). Men talk about physiological needs much more often: 56% versus 40% in the female audience.

And although half of the respondents began sexual activity over the age of 18, one in three lost their virginity before reaching adulthood. At the same time, statistically, men begin intimate life somewhat later than women.

Why do young people become herbivores?

Why did young people become less interested in sex? According to sexologist and psychologist Anna Koteneva, the most common sexual disorder today is a disorder with a decrease or loss of sexual desire. “Why is this happening? This disorder is most often associated with age, certain diseases, and routine in relationships. And this has always been the case. But now the problem has seriously become younger. The fact is that today a huge number of pleasure substitutes have appeared and sex is simply being replaced by them. Of course, there are also problems associated with a sense of responsibility. However, one thing can be said: the more primitive the society, the more tolerant people are to sexual contacts. And we live in difficult times, where there are many prohibitions regarding sexual culture, and this also affects general sexuality,” says Anna Koteneva.

Obstetrician-gynecologist, gynecologist-endocrinologist, graduate student of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology of the Moscow State Medical and Dental University named after. A.I. Evdokimova Olga Kaplina adds that the fear of an unplanned pregnancy also negatively affects sexual desire and trust in a partner. “And a gynecologist can solve these problems if a woman turns to him and not to a friend. Because self-administration of contraception creates mistrust in it – incorrectly selected contraceptives can give unwanted side effects. Before prescribing them, the doctor collects anamnesis, examinations and selects adequate contraception taking into account the individual characteristics of the woman, including her age.”

In Japan and the USA, people who begin to refuse sex are called herbivores. “Reproductive problems did not arise today, but a long time ago,” says Dmitry Rogozin, candidate of sociological sciences, senior researcher at the Institute of Sociology of the Russian Academy of Sciences. — What’s wrong with young people, why are they so asexual? There are many reasons. For example, over the past 10 years, sex education in Russia has not changed at all; children are not taught healthy relationships. By the way, a survey we conducted two years ago showed that people are happier in permanent relationships. Sex is an indicator of a happy life, and it is only possible in a family.”

Less is more

How often do Russians have sex? According to a VTsIOM survey, 50% of respondents do this once a week. 24% of respondents have sex once or several times a month. For 5% – once every six months. Those who have a regular partner have relationships more often.

How important is regular sex? “What really matters is emotional sex. Sex in the name of health is a myth. It doesn’t work like that,” says family psychologist Natalya Panfilova.

But how often do men and women need sex from a physiological point of view? “Ever since Freud, the question has been on the agenda: how many times should you have sex? – continues Anna Koteneva. “But the truth is that there are no norms, it’s all individual. Although it is generally accepted that twice a week is quite satisfactory. When a couple has been together for some time, they reach a certain rhythm, and this is connected with nature and culture. Everyone has a different range of sexual acceptability, and it is important that a couple has sexual diplomacy, and this requires a good relationship and trust.”

Olga Kaplina, meanwhile, notes that in order for children to be born from sex, you need to have sex at least three times a week: “Regular sexual intercourse contributes to closer psycho-emotional contact in a couple. But sometimes women avoid sex for reasons that a man is not even aware of. One of the most common causes is chronic pelvic pain. It can be caused by various diseases, primarily endometriosis. There is a popular belief: you need to have regular sex life to avoid endometriosis. The cause of pelvic pain can also be endocrinological disorders and diseases of the thyroid gland. Or, it happens that a woman has a negative experience with sex due to pelvic inflammatory diseases. The disease may have already been treated, but the woman remembered that sex is pain, not pleasure. And then we need to refer her to a sexologist. Will sex cure diseases? No, it won’t cure. But health is also psychological health, and sex will definitely help it.”

Do Russians have enough sex?

The survey found that 51% of Russians would like a lot or a little more sex. 57% of men and 45% of women said they would like to have sex a lot or a little more often than they currently do. Respondents who are already raising children have sex more often than those who are not parents: at least once a week – 58% of parents and 40% of non-parents.

However, every third person is quite satisfied with what is happening in sex now. And 3% would like sex less often. As a rule, those who have been in a relationship for more than 10 years would like to increase the frequency of intimate relationships. And these are mostly men; women are most often satisfied with everything. After 10 years of constant relationships, men are not satisfied with the frequency of sex: 62% of men would like to have it more often; the same as now – 30%. This trend is not observed among female audiences.

Anna Koteneva notes that after 10 years of marriage, a habit appears. In addition, during the pandemic, many Russians experienced a decrease in sexual desire: people were constantly at home together and began to get tired of each other. “From the age of 35, testosterone begins to decline in men, and women reach their peak of orgasmicity. In a couple, after years of living together, many social and psychological discontents appear, and the woman must be active. And the woman already has complaints and grievances, she has taken off her rose-colored glasses. And this imbalance in orientation affects the quality of sexual relationships,” says the sexologist.

Experts agree that the topic of sexual relations in a couple should be discussed. But how often do Russians do this?

The survey showed that 32% ignore this topic: they do not discuss it with anyone, even with their partner. 54% talk about this topic with their partner, 24% with friends (this is mainly typical for young people). 43% of women and 49% of men do not discuss sex life with their partner, and 30% of women and 35% of men do not discuss it with anyone at all. Moreover, the older the respondents, the more often they tend to keep silent about this topic: in the group of 35–45 years old, 52% do not talk to each other about this topic, while among younger people 18–24 years old this figure is already 39%. “There is an element of taboo for discussion in society,” says Kirill Rodin.

Meanwhile, Dmitry Rogozin notes that sex is a conversation, communication, and you need to have conversations on this topic with both your partner and friends – this determines the quality of sex: “We have a very strange formulation of “marital duty.” In sex, it is not the act itself that is very important, but the foreplay, and then sex becomes an attribute of a person’s happy life.”

Experts once again complain that there is no sex education in the country. “We don’t have state programs for sex education and education,” says Anna Koteneva. — No matter how much we talk about the advancement of society and the availability of information about sex, in fact, everything is very closed here. Adults also need to be taught sexual education, especially since by law we cannot talk about sex with children under 16 years of age. Therefore, those closest to them should talk to them – their parents, and they need information on what to say. The issue of sexual education should be on the agenda, we need to bring a healthy sexual culture to the masses.”

Natalya Panfilova adds that in Soviet times our society was very closed and our 70-year-old grandmothers simply do not know how to talk about it: “There is an opinion that either we should not talk about it at all, or we should talk about it in the bathhouse as something dirty. “And I think that the Longevity project needs to conduct sex education lessons for the elderly.”

Dmitry Rogozin adds that sexuality and reproduction are divorced in our country: “The state should provide continuous sexuality education, with an emphasis on older ages. Grandmothers need to be sexually educated, and then young families will be encouraged to have children.”

“And we must stop calling women old-timers: at 25 or 40 you can give birth to both your first and second child,” Olga Kaplina urges.

Experts come to the conclusion: sex is not water, not food or sleep, you can live without it. But life will be more bland and devoid of colors. “Sex is one of the key demographic issues, and we must promote regular sex life among Russians,” says Olga Kaplina.