The specialist explained how to determine a woman’s sexual temperament by the way she eats

To begin with, the sexologist reminded that sex is not just a physiological need, but it is, among other things, a form of communication between two loving people. For a couple, “this is a powerful point of support,” because during the sexual act we receive a lot of endorphins – “drugs for the brain,” and the person is motivated to receive pleasure and orgasm. Therefore, many people want to improve this side of their lives and develop it. “I support the approach to sex of “eastern practices” – this is getting to know your partner, his body, his soul, and turning this process into some kind of act of hedonism,” the doctor added.

But we must not forget that sexual activity is different for all people, “after all, in sexology the norms are very conditional, sometimes these boundaries are blurred.” If a person initially has a naturally low libido (sexual desire), then he does not need sex as often as a person with a normal or high sexual constitution (someone who has a much higher sexual temperament). In a word, you need to focus on your inner feelings, and not try to adhere to some “generally accepted norms” of the frequency of sexual acts – they simply do not exist, they are individual for everyone.

Elena Malakhova told how one can determine his sexual temperament by his appearance and by the way he eats. If a person dresses well and takes care of himself, this at least indicates that sex is important to him in his life. If a person does not care how he is dressed, he does not observe any hygiene standards, does not take care of his face, if a woman, for example, does not wear makeup, then we can assume that sex is not of particular importance for such people. But at the same time, there are various non-verbal signals that people give to each other, so sexuality is no longer about how a person looks; When choosing a partner, people rely on their inner feelings; they notice how a person speaks, how he moves, how he smiles. This is flirting, and all these non-verbal messages are read by people when looking for partners.

“If you want to find out what your partner will be like in bed, dance with him,” the sexologist advised. “If we talk about a woman, then a man will understand from the dance how plastic the woman is, how flexible, how ready she is to meet her partner, or, on the contrary, she wants to dominate sex.” Further, people with a good appetite, as a rule, are people with high libido. It is clear that some men like a woman to eat carefully. But they need to know that a sign of high libido is precisely when a woman can sometimes afford not to be shy. This does not mean that one should eat without observing any norms of etiquette, the doctor says, “but, in general, one should not be embarrassed that a person enjoys it.”

Elena Malakhova named the most common problems with which couples turn to sexologists. The first – the most difficult in sexology – is the problem with libido. When it comes to couples, one partner doesn’t want the other. That is, I had an attraction, but then something happened to it, and either a person does not want a partner, but wants someone else there in fantasies, or does not want anyone at all. The second request is accusations of your partner and a request to “cure” him: she is frigid, he is impotent… Against the background of this, the couple begins to have big conflicts, and they come in the hope that the doctor will correct the behavior of the other person. The greatest effect can be achieved if both come.

As a rule, under the guise of sexological problems lie personal problems: the psyche and sexuality are inseparable. At the same time, libido and sexual fantasies are formed in the environment in which the child grows up. “The key figure for the psyche of each of us is the mother,” says Elena Malakhova. “And therefore, no matter who a person comes to – a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist, a sexologist – we still come up against the fact that we need to work and analyze the contact between mother and child,” that is, what an adult had in childhood patient.

Touching on the topic of sex education for children, the sexologist advised parents to start it “from a very early age, first by instilling in their children the rules of hygiene.” And when the time comes and the child begins to ask questions about “this”, “there is no need to tell him these funny myths that the storks brought him or his brother” – it is better to speak to him in his own language, but as it really is. She also advised, in a conversation with children aged 2-3 years, to already call intimate organs by their proper names: penis and vagina, “this is an anatomical organ, the same part of the body as an arm and a leg.” A very important topic – you should definitely talk to your child about his sexual safety. “The child should know that there are “good” and “bad” touches, that only mom and dad and the doctor can touch you in the presence of their parents. A child of 9 years old should already know that sexual violence is possible and how to avoid these situations.”

“In general, if a child shows interest in this side of life, this is absolutely normal,” Malakhova noted. – There is no need to roll your eyes and say that “it’s too early for you to know about this”! You need to talk to him about “this” in his language, depending on his age. You should be happy that your child asks such questions – it means he trusts you.”

The doctor emphasized that children who have received proper upbringing in the family will not want to watch prohibited content and will not show interest in porn. But for this, parents must do a lot of work. It all starts with ensuring that parents have a healthy psyche and healthy sexuality, first of all. A personal example is important – what kind of relationship mom and dad have.

One of the most discussed aspects of sexual life is the frigidity (“coldness”) of women. According to the doctor, modern sexology does not use the term “frigidity” because it is believed that it stigmatizes a woman (labels her). This is exactly the same as telling a man that he is impotent.

“Instead, we say either ‘hypoactive libido’ or ‘low libido’ or no libido,” she said. – There could be a whole range of reasons. For example, if a person by nature has a low libido and a weak sexual constitution, then he does not need a lot and often of sex, he normally goes through periods without sex. But there may be such an option as delayed sexuality. For example, a person comes to an appointment, and we understand that he has an average sexual constitution, that is, when it is required 2-3 times a week (during the period of sexually active age). But at the same time, we observe that he can go for months without sex. And then we are talking about delayed sexuality – when something went wrong at the stage of a person’s psychosexual development and he ended up stuck somewhere, “fixed” somewhere, and his sexuality did not reach a mature form. And we also work with this, revealing his sexuality.”

And it happens that her partner puts the label of a “cold” woman on her. This is, as a rule, a narcissistic type of man who has his own, very strange ideas about a woman, which could have formed in him as a result, for example, of systematically watching porn. Based on such films, he formed the erroneous belief that a woman doesn’t really need foreplay, and that she reaches orgasm in a second. “And then we are faced with the topic of misconceptions about sex life, and that in general your partner is putting pressure on you.” The sexologist advised women to “look who is next to you,” because libido may have been initially normal and sufficient in level, but something happened that made it decrease. There are a huge number of reasons why a woman’s libido may decrease, both psychogenic and physiological, and sexologists deal with this.

According to Malakhova, one of the leading Russian sex therapists cites the number of women incapable of orgasm – this is about 6%. But many sexologists dispute this statistics and believe that the point is how the psychosexual development of a woman was formed, and that this situation can be corrected by giving the woman these wonderful sensations.

And, of course, the couple is most interested in the following question: does sexual interest in each other really decrease over the years and cannot be maintained for many, many years? And is it normal for sexual fervor to fade over the years, or is stable sex, albeit not as frequent as at the beginning of a relationship, a sure sign that everything is fine with the couple? “A couple can be attracted to each other for a very long time, and it is not lost,” the sexologist assured, but at the same time, the level of attraction still changes, there are certain phases – higher, lower, higher, lower. “But there are definitely such couples where the partners want each other for many years,” she emphasized. “And it’s normal that they can exist in a monogamous relationship without using any additional techniques or devices, for example, from a sex shop, since they are completely satisfied with each other.”