Roza Syabitova: “I’m like a Phoenix bird – I’m always reborn!”

“I deserve the title of grandmother”

“I celebrate my birthday in a working mood,” says Rosa. “It seems to me that only children experience puppy joy on this day.” We are all adults, so I celebrate my holiday calmly. I don’t hide my age – I’m 62 years old. You know, it’s a little strange that women are afraid of their age and try to say that inside they are young and oh-ho-ho. I can say that these are signs of a crisis. I have already passed all the major crises that happen to a person during his life. Therefore, I don’t need to prove anything to myself.

— Usually at your age people’s lives change: they start going to the clinic more often…

“I have always had a very respectful attitude towards doctors. I have been undergoing medical examination since childhood and try not to miss it even now. Yes, at this age you get sick more often because your body wears out. I undergo medical examination: if I find something, I immediately go to the doctor and get treatment. The Soviet age mentality that my parents went through does not work for us now. The world has changed. But, of course, I can say that I started to get tired faster and my endurance became worse.

– But at the same time you don’t stop working!

— I really like working. I am doing my calling and the work that I like. Moreover, over the years the work becomes more and more interesting. I am very glad that our program is back on the air again. We have a new team member – Artificial Intelligence, which we all really like.

— Many people note that you have changed somewhat on the screen…

– Because my granddaughter was born. A year and a half ago I switched to the status of a grandmother. Now I’m like the postman Pechkin. (Laughs.) He didn’t have a bicycle, that’s why he was so angry. And I didn’t have a granddaughter, so I was tougher and sometimes intolerant of the heroes.

— Did the birth of your granddaughter change your life a lot?

– Undoubtedly. I always say: “Parents are not born, parents are made.” This is how they become grandmothers. At the same time, it is necessary, this is my opinion, to earn the title of grandmother.

– Do you deserve it?

– I deserve. I help young people because I understand how difficult it is to raise a child. My children, unfortunately, did not understand the beauty of grandparents in their lives. I am fully compensating for this now. I don’t miss a single moment in Miroslava’s life. Thanks to the guys for not wanting to stop there and promising that I will still have grandchildren.

— Who does Miroslava look like?

“She’s a copy of dad, but her breed is ours.” So chatty and groovy. She just left me. Once a month I definitely try to take her to my place for a week or at least three days. She, of course, is so active now: she needs an eye and an eye. I look at her and understand that today’s children are not the same as they were before. They are very advanced: they watch TV, use gadgets all day. We have a bunny who tells stories. But when my granddaughter is with me, she falls asleep to my lullabies. And I sing them with great pleasure. But before that, when I turn off this spinner with music, she is indignant.

– Have you already accepted your son-in-law into your family?

– Yes! I love and respect him because he makes my daughter and granddaughter happy. He’s a good dad. Babysitting is no problem. When my granddaughter is with me, he constantly calls and asks how she ate and slept. We send videos to each other. The mother-in-law has a favorite son. And this is the main point. After all, no matter how we treat our named children, adults must yield and teach. Only with love can you help both your daughter and beloved son-in-law overcome all difficulties. I’m just waiting.

— It’s clear with my daughter, she’s settled in. When are you going to marry your son?

– As God willing. He has it in his project.

– So there is a bride on the horizon?

– Not so literally. We did not buy a ticket for a specific date on the train that will take us to the desired destination station. Everything in life is much more complicated.

– Which girl do you see next to him?

– I see a loving girl next to me. And everything else will follow.

“After my husband died, I ground my teeth and smiled”

— Rose, you know what the most common comment about you is on the Internet. People write that she teaches people wisdom, but she herself is like a shoemaker without boots…

– I am often accused of this. I propose to understand this phraseological unit and understand how applicable it is to me. If we take these words literally, it turns out that the person who makes and repairs someone else’s shoes sits barefoot. If we take it figuratively, it turns out that in this way they want to make fun of a person who is out of place. They say he is a bungler and an amateur. By pointing out to me that I am a shoemaker without boots, they do not mean my professionalism. If you are a matchmaker, then you must be married. Then, according to this “theory”, a doctor who spends a lot of effort on treating his patients, but who does not have time for his own health, is a bad doctor? You can also practice absurd conclusions: a bad builder who does not live in a palace, although he builds them for others… A bad mother who gives all her strength and efforts for the good of others, but completely forgets about herself… I believe that “boots” have nothing to do with it how. And to put everyone under the same brush (by the way, this is also a phraseological unit) means forgetting that each person is unique, as are his needs and capabilities. And when you want to appreciate the work of another person, think about the fact that maybe he has reasons for not providing himself with what he constantly creates for others.

– Why don’t you want to get married?

— Now I am at that wonderful age when living alone is easier, and the choice of resources is more accurate. I do not plan events, but internal impressions and states. I know what is valuable and important to me. I enjoy my work, my comfort, caring for my children and granddaughter. I like living alone, I don’t need a man’s support and his money, and I know how to be happy on my own, doing what I want. It is my choice. For other women my age, being around a man brings happiness. This is their choice. My generation of women is actually very lucky. We have the opportunity to look good, be self-sufficient, solve any problems ourselves and choose who to be with. But in the pursuit of youth and personal success, we must not forget about virtuous behavior at this age. Unfortunately, few older women today can become role models and pride.

— Was your first marriage not for love?

– Yes it is.

— Did this leave an imprint on your future life?

– No, no print. My marriage was not for love, but it could arise over time. That’s what I was counting on. Because I married a man who loved me madly. There are two schemes in relationships: to love yourself and to be loved. According to statistics, most often those women whom they love are married. And if my husband had not died, I would definitely love him. Did not make it.

— How did you experience death?

– Not like others, probably. When my husband died, I had two small children and his elderly parents in my arms. I was collected and unemotional, as it was necessary to organize a burial. At that time I was breastfeeding my children, and stress was contraindicated for me so that the milk would not disappear. At that moment I thought more not about the dead, but about the living. This is the first thing. Secondly, I understood that children should not be frightened. They were small and not ready for this. That’s why she ground her teeth and smiled.

– What did your husband die from?

– Stroke, heart attack. In the 90s, everything began to fall apart: there was no work, and our second child was born. He was just confused. But I couldn’t get lost, because there was no help at all. My husband was paralyzed in the hospital, and I went to him and carried trays of food. Back then there were hospitals in general, mother, don’t worry. At some point I was seized by it myself.

– What’s happened?

— Stones in the gall bladder. They took me to the hospital, and the doctors said: “I have to operate urgently.” I say: “No way. I’m breastfeeding.” And she refused the operation. And the doctors were adamant: “You can die.” But I insisted on my point. When I got up in the morning, ironically, I was taken to the same hospital where my husband was lying. I walked from one building to another through an underground passage, picked up the food dishes that I had brought the day before, and went home. True, three years later I was still operated on. But even then I refused painkillers, as I continued to breastfeed my children. I lived like this most of my life. Although no, she survived.

“The second husband cheated from day one”

– Your next marriage cannot be called successful either!

– You can’t name it exactly! The whole country has been discussing it for several years! The conclusion I drew from that short-term marriage is that sex should not be the only reason to get married.

– What, you and your second husband had very good sex?

– Well I do not know! It’s like happiness has no general concept. I haven’t had a man for many years. I firmly decided that there would be no marriage until the children grew up. He was very attentive, gentle, looked after me beautifully and… quickly proposed marriage. And I went.

— In this marriage you had assault. Where did it all start?

– Firstly, as they say: “Whoever hurts something, talks about it.” He, as it turned out later, cheated on me from the very first day. Therefore, I began to be jealous of everyone: cameramen, grooms of the program, photographers. Secondly, from idleness. He didn’t work, although he considered himself my producer. I gave him a kind of salary, as long as he didn’t blow my mind. His fantasies went so far that he began to consider himself the author of the “Let’s Get Married” program and said that he had made me a star. He was annoyed by the correspondents’ questions: “Are you the husband of Roza Syabitova?” He answered angrily: “She’s my wife, don’t confuse her. I am the head of the family.” Everyone giggled, but did not argue with him. After all, the husband of a star. You never know how the star will react to this situation. But, of course, everyone understood everything perfectly.

— Did you intentionally contain him?

– Of course not! From great love and stupidity. And also from fatigue. I had a marriage business and constant filming. In those days, I maintained a large office, I had fifteen employees. After filming, I immediately went to the office to solve a bunch of issues. His routes were different: a store and another party. At home he asked for money for this or that, and she gave it without asking for an account. I think that my complaisance began to infuriate him, so he decided to see what else I could bear. Beaten up.

— Did you expel them immediately after that?

– No, he ran away on his own, and I went to the police, wrote a statement, and told everything honestly. This is where the story should have ended. But two weeks later I received a message from the police that due to lack of evidence the case was closed. It sounded something like this: “When they kill you, come!” After a while he came with an apology: “Please forgive me! The devil got me wrong! I was out of my mind! I swear to my mother that this will not happen again.” Like many women, I forgave him. But she no longer turned her back to him: she began to be afraid. And rightly so, since the second incident happened very quickly.

— Is this just when your photos appeared on the Internet?

– Yes! My daughter filmed this so that we could confirm the fact of the beating. The next day I was filming Let’s Get Married. When I arrived at the set, having covered up the bruises and inserted a temporary crown because I had a tooth knocked out, the producers of “Let Them Talk” came to me. I was amazed how they knew about what happened. Then it turned out that it was he who called them and said: “Do the program. I beat my wife.” And, of course, not for free. I categorically refused to go, because I understood that if this story became public, I would lose my business. And so it happened. I almost got up from scratch for the second time.

-Where did you get the strength?

“I’m like a Phoenix bird, I’m always reborn.” Neither the hungry 90s nor the death of my husband broke me, when I alone was able to raise two children, giving them a good life and an excellent education. So I survived this incident by saying to myself: “Yes, such nonsense happened in your life. We’ve stepped over it, we’re moving on!”

– Isn’t it bothering you now?

— At first I pestered him several times. But I’m not interested in participating in this dirt. I started my business again. My authority has become even greater. And whoever is not without sin, let him throw a stone at me. These are my mistakes, I experienced them and drew conclusions.

— What does Rose dream of most now?

— I dream of living longer. I am glad that we are the first generation of women who can afford to look beautiful, have plastic surgery, and take care of their health. For this we have all the opportunities that our parents did not have. Therefore, I wish everyone and myself not to waste this invaluable golden reserve of time that we have.