Revealed the terrible details of the life of the oldest mother in Ukraine, whose daughter was taken away

This post appeared at the end of April on the page of 12-year-old Anna-Maria Podverbnaya. With a huge number of errors, with a complete lack of punctuation marks, however, he was so emotional and piercing that he simply hit backhand. The worst thing is that the girl obviously wrote to nowhere – she threw it on the Internet, like a note in a bottle in the sea. According to the stories, she has no friends, and her mother does not let her go anywhere.

Spelling and punctuation preserved.

“guys, I’m tired of everything and I decided to tell you, I’m sorry that I suffered with mistakes for a long time, and now I broke my mother takes off my panties and socks, tears my clothes and she also doesn’t let me wash and wash my things, she also scratches me and beats me just tired of it.”

Anna-Maria complains that her mother laughs at her handwriting, doesn’t let her do her homework, calls her cross-eyed. And indeed it is.

Local media have repeatedly reported that the daughter asked her mother to correct her vision, but she always refused. Probably fearing for the outcome of the operation. She is terribly afraid for her daughter in everything. Perhaps this is a pathology? Many older parents, unlike younger ones who are up to themselves, make children the only meaning of their lives. And then they pay off.

Neighbors say that sounds of constant scandals and insults rush from the apartment. That Anna-Maria weeps and cries that she is a man and not a beast. That she needs to go to school. But that’s not all.

“I heard that the girl asked her mother for basic things – wipes and deodorant. I have been hearing swearing from this apartment for two weeks. I believe that this woman, Valentina Podverbnaya, needs help raising a child, she, in my opinion, is not able to give anything to a child, ”the neighbor says.

Perhaps if the elderly mother were famous or rich, this story would not seem so hopeless. And so Valentina Podverbnaya is famous only for the fact that she gave birth at the age of 66.

A glass of water before death

In 2011, the story of Valentina Podverbnaya shocked the whole world. Including Russia. A woman has wanted to be a mother all her life. But the years passed, she grew old, and there was no beloved person who could become the father of her child. In the end, she almost gave up on her dream, and then new medical technologies came to the rescue.

Of course, to some extent it was a risk and a hype – to impregnate a lady at such a mature age and already, probably, with extinct fertility abilities, through IVF. But, on the one hand, in the event of success, Ukrainian doctors were waiting for glory. On the other hand, Valentina understood that this was her last chance. There is something to fight for.

But the biggest problem was not only that the expectant mother was very lonely – no children, no close relatives, but also that she was poor. Literally. For the IVF procedure, the woman scraped together money for seven (!!!!) years. She ate stale bread and drank only water.

Someone’s egg, fertilized in a test tube with the sperm of an unknown donor – no one could have imagined that at such a venerable age, in the seventh decade, you could give birth yourself. Yes, probably, if Valentina had more money, she would have resorted to surrogate motherhood. But there was no money. And so she took that extra risk. But fame and fees for participating in the talk show went to her alone.

Dozens of journalists met Valentina from the maternity hospital. She looked at her age, both physically and intellectually, haggard, gray-haired, worn out, it was not very clear how such an elderly lady could cope with the burden in her old age, and even without outside help. Why does she even need a child?

Valentina frankly admitted that she gave birth, including so that when her daughter grows up, she would take care of her. How she herself once cared for her dying mother.

“I love children very much, but I don’t want strangers – a stranger is not a child for me,” Valentina answered the question of journalists at the maternity hospital why she did not want to take the baby from the orphanage.

Many raised other slippery topics – how is the pensioner going to raise her daughter, if she gave everything to IVF? Won’t Anna-Maria be ashamed of her old mother? Is Valentina afraid of dying before she reaches adulthood? Did she think to whom she would leave her then?

“We don’t need nobody”

Years passed, Podverbnaya became the heroine of the Book of Records of Ukraine. But at the same time, she did not let anyone on the threshold of the apartment. Including pediatricians from the children’s clinic, she said that she herself knows how to care for a child, that they do not need medical support. She protected her daughter from prying eyes, drove social workers away, didn’t let the girl play with other children, didn’t admit that Anna-Maria squinted a lot: “She just turned her eyes like that” – and didn’t even want to send her daughter to school.

When the girl nevertheless went to study, Valentina said that she would sit next to her at all lessons. The woman was hardly convinced that there was no need for this. She didn’t like not only those around her, she also complained about the behavior of Anna-Maria herself: “Somehow she hit the TV, the details flew off. In the end, I threw it away, we don’t need a new TV. And once the furniture broke all.

The girl did not walk well, spoke poorly, was absolutely not developed. Valentina wrapped her up in any weather.

Neighbors shrugged. Poor girl. Weird mom. That’s how it happens.

“I met them a couple of times here in Chernihiv, once in the market, once in the supermarket. Trust me, it’s a sad sight. The child dragged from the shelves everything that came to hand, indiscriminately, the mother yelled obscenities at her, not embarrassed by anyone, moreover, both looked unkempt. Believe me, there is nothing to admire there, ”another resident of the city said on social networks.

In general, it seemed that the oldest mother had mental problems, and she perceives another person, even if it is still very small, as a thing. As if she decided to recoup in old age on a living doll.

The issue of depriving Podverbnaya of maternal rights was raised several times. In 2020, social activists wrote a complaint to the Ministry of Social Policy of Ukraine, saying that the pensioner was using her daughter for begging. Last year, as the media wrote, at the signal of a friend, the police drew up an administrative report on improper care and psychological abuse of a child.

When checking, the local service for children sided with Valentina. Yes, the relationship between mother and daughter is somewhat on the verge, but we are all different people and love our children as best we can.

All these twelve years the society was divided into two halves. One, which admired and praised, eventually became quite tiny. But the other, indignant and demanding to take action against “mother Valya” grew all the time.

But in any case, the child was already there. He is alive, with feelings and character. You won’t put it back.

People are cruel – a fact, but no one could have imagined that this would turn into a tragedy and persecution of the girl herself. Who once could not stand it and wrote on the social network: “I can’t hear normal words from her, only swearing and name-calling, the fool constantly speaks to me and {…} she wants to drive me to suicide right now she is standing over me and shouting another witch and arranges lapel and love spell. She made a psycho HELP ME!!!!”

Stolen egg

At the beginning of 2021, former Ukrainian Oksana S., now living in Israel, accidentally saw a program about a child born to the oldest Ukrainian mother.

I saw and, as she herself admits, was stunned. A strange, unfamiliar girl turned out to be like two drops of water similar to her own daughter. She was also conceived through IVF, the procedure was carried out in Ukraine. The woman recalled that several eggs were taken from her for medical manipulation, which no one returned to her and, apparently, was not disposed of.

Oksana suggested that it was her cells from the storage bank that were taken for Valentina’s replanting. She decided to fight for the child, as she assumes that this is her daughter.

The claim of the alleged biological mother was published on the website of the Novozavodsk District Court. It put forward demands to recognize Oksana as the mother of the child, about which to make a new, corrected entry in the act of her birth. The lawsuit was accepted for consideration in June last year. Valentina Podverbnaya refused to communicate with journalists, and she also did not want Anna-Maria to be subjected to a DNA examination. In criminal proceedings, this procedure, by a court decision, can be compulsory, and in civil proceedings, everything is on a voluntary basis.

Consideration of a difficult case was postponed several times, it was scheduled for the very end of February 2022, but a special operation began in Ukraine, and everyone was not up to it. To date, there is no news, what decision the court has made, in the public domain.

Most likely, Anna-Maria guesses something like that. Since she wrote on her page that last year there were two trials about her. Maybe she, too, dreams of escaping from the arms of her oppressive mother and starting a new life in another country?

living people

The authorities urgently decided to remove the child from the family because of the danger to the life of Anna Maria.

However, the head of the Children’s Affairs Service of the Chernihiv City Council, Elena Zinchenko, claims that Podverbnaya is, in principle, quite adequate.

– I was told many times: deprive me of my rights! Why deprive? The child is fed, well dressed, mother did not buy or take from friends for her daughter a single worn item. Everything is new – clothes, bed, chair for classes, smartphone. The house has a new washing machine. We constantly keep this family under control, my mother lets social workers into the house. The girl attends school, goes to the library. Do you see a lot of children reading books these days? She is reading. And mom makes sure that her daughter does her homework. Podverbnaya loves her daughter very much. As he knows, so he loves.

As a result, the minor was sent for examination to the hospital, where the child will continue to stay until the beginning of the trial. Where it will be decided where and with whom Anna-Maria will continue to live.

Now many people are talking about the need to limit the age of a woman who goes for IVF. And for her own sake, since health problems associated with the procedure can lead to an irreparable afterword. And for the future child.

The World Health Organization does not recommend that women give birth after the age of 49. In the United States, there are age-related bans on IVF. This is 39 – 55 years, depending on the state.

In Denmark, artificial insemination is possible until the age of 45. In Sweden – up to 35, in the UK – up to 50. A bill developed in Ukraine proposed limiting the age of IVF to 49 years of the mother. In Russia, they also began to discuss the age limit for a woman when IVF can be shown to her. And they proposed to limit the upper age limit for the IVF procedure by quota.

Natalia Dolgushina, chief freelance specialist for women’s reproductive health at the Ministry of Health, called the age of patients “the biggest problem” in this area.

It seems that many understand that the medical and social experiment that began more than 12 years ago in Ukraine ended in a complete fiasco. Not from a medical point of view, but above all from an ethical point of view.

And that at least two people fell victim to it. But one – an elderly mother – chose this path herself. The other – a little girl – had no choice.