On March 8, women may be left without a gift: how we tried to order a striptease

Needless to say, club culture has been in turmoil since the beginning of this year. Every holiday is a scandal. Before the New Year, both the infamous “naked party” and school concerts came under fire. On February 23, Ekaterina Mizulina’s showdown with the Elton men’s club in Krasnoyarsk broke out. Then, on Defender of the Fatherland Day, the public condemned the show with a seemingly patriarchal female striptease. Social activists in the Belgorod region, where the “soap party” took place, appealed to the governor with a demand to sort things out.

The upcoming holiday of March 8th is for the entertainment industry like the First of September for flower shops. Nightclubs traditionally prepare vibrant shows with elements of male erotica. Tables are reserved a month in advance. Strippers pump up their muscles and check the elastic on their thongs: is it strong enough to hold banknotes from generously opened women’s wallets?

The MK correspondent tried to book a table for the Eighth of March in famous strip clubs and realized: the men were at a loss…

I type into a search engine: “male striptease in Moscow.” And I am surprised to see that I was offered only 11 clubs. And this is in the epicenter of nightlife, which is the capital. I’m starting to call.

The first club that came up in the search was immediately discouraging: “Male striptease? No, we don’t tolerate such disgrace,” the owner of the establishment breaks down in a businesslike manner. – “We only have female striptease!” True, to the rhetorical question: “Then how can I rejoice at a single woman on the Eighth of March,” the owner of the establishment assured that I would really like women too. Well I do not know…

On the second phone they said that the club had moved out a long time ago and there was now a pharmacy there.

The third issue presented an even more interesting surprise. The club, they said, was closed, and a metal rolling shop operates on this site. The interlocutor encouraged me to come anyway and assured that any Tajik would be happy to dance a male striptease.

I’m calling number four.

– Eh, net. Our women dance,” answers the Caucasian accent. – But any man will dance for you! We’ll find a way out, you won’t regret it!

It sounds tempting, but you still need an organized striptease from professionals, and not from spontaneous dancers. Great hopes were placed on the men’s club with the uplifting name “Patriot”, but it also closed in May. Now they are investing in construction here, as the secretary said when asked to provide men.

This is where the unsuccessful calls ended. But male striptease still didn’t get any closer to the Eighth of March.

“All the tables have been booked for a long time,” said the club with a show program of as many as 40 professional dancers of the erotic genre. – We can only offer a sofa. Suitable for a large company.

Having promised to call my colleagues from the accounting department, I continue calling.

– One table left. Book immediately with prepayment – they are in a hurry at another establishment. I ask – is there as much excitement this year before the Eighth of March as always? “Of course,” they answer, “even greater.” No orders were received. We dance as always. If a stripper likes you, he will call you on stage!

For the spectacle and the opportunity to dance on stage, it was necessary to buy a deposit for a table of 20 thousand rubles. The table is designed for three. That is, at least 7 thousand per night is worth the pleasure. These prices are in approximately all clubs.

But this is in Moscow. In the northern capital, ladies are also hungry for spectacles. After getting a couple of unanswered phones, I finally find a male striptease in St. Petersburg.

– There is no end to those interested. This March 8th we are opening a second club. Our boys will work there too. Women were really looking forward to spring! “Hurry up with your tables,” they say cheerfully from the banks of the Neva.

– Does the striptease show have any special features this year? “You’ve probably heard about the ban on naked parties and other restrictions,” I ask.

– There were no orders. We work as always: beautifully, romantically, aesthetically and without nudity,” the club replies.

– No nudity at all? – I clarify. – What kind of striptease is this?

“We have a cultural program,” they get irritated in response.

…In the age of online delivery, you can call a striptease to your home. I am opening a website with professionals from different fields. In the list with electricians, hairdressers and tutors I find the line “male striptease”. There are 20 offers in total. I am posting a request for an erotic dance on March 8th. Only one specialist responds. I learn from his resume that he works in the genre of courier, riot police and evil neighbor. Interesting…

– The evil neighbor is suitable for pranks. The premise is this: you and the girls are having fun. At some point I ring the doorbell and start to get angry at the noise. Girls, as a rule, also respond with aggression and ask me to leave. And at the most unexpected moment I begin to undress,” Vasily S. describes the foreplay. “But right on March 8th there is nothing.” Does 1:30 suit you?

Promising to think about it, I leave the correspondence. Apart from the “evil neighbor,” no one responded to my ad. And yet I want to believe that on March 8th, every woman will receive her own personal private male striptease. Let it be not from professional dancers who either left the business or have already been snatched up by much more efficient friends, but from a beloved husband or a pleasant stranger.