Laughter out of spite: what were the best jokes of the past year

It all started with the fact that in January Adobe again opened access to Russians to download its programs, including Photoshop. How did grateful Russians react to this? And like this!

“Adobe:

– Photoshop can be bought again in Russia!

Russians:

What do you mean, buy it?

Increased cooperation with China has caused many jokes, including the following:

“2033. Why would I overpay for these pretentious Chinese brands if I can buy an excellent Indian or Iranian car for half the price.”

“In the 90s they taught the C language, and now they are learning the C language.

But there is a nuance.”

The people reacted with understanding to the proposal to introduce a six-day working week in Russia:

“At first they wanted to make a four-day working week. Then they wanted six days. In the end, we settled on a five-day stay. 200 rubles have been allocated for the transition period.”

Other government initiatives also received approval:

“Putin signed a law allowing the sale of housing seized from corrupt officials. The problem is that only other corrupt officials can afford the housing of corrupt officials.”

“Why transfer officials to domestic cars if they have the right to free travel on public transport?”

Stories appeared on the topic of “their morals”:

“- Ronaldo rented 17 rooms in a 99-story skyscraper in Riyadh. The cost of living per month is more than 250 thousand pounds.

Is this with a communal apartment?

We recaptured the failure of our space station to land on the moon:

“Izya, did you hear that the Russians recently launched a ship to the moon?

Not NA, but B.”

News from the world of Anglo-Saxons:

“The little guy came from London, chaos is going on there: they crowned a man who didn’t sit at all!”

“When I was still a child, my father often cheated on his mother and did not like his family. Later my parents divorced. Soon my mother died in a car accident. My brother and I lived for a long time in my grandmother’s old house. My grandmother’s sister suffered from alcoholism. The whole family lived on grandmother’s savings. Grandmother recently died. My Uncle Andy can barely stop himself from going to jail. My brother left home and no longer communicates with us. Dad, now 73, had to go to work to support his family, and eventually he will want me to do the same.

Best regards, Prince William”

The ruble fell and barely recovered, but this did not go unnoticed:

“The paradox of dollars worth 100 rubles is that it is now both very easy and very difficult for Russians to calculate their salary in dollars.”

The word of the year according to the Russian Language Institute was “neural network”; artificial intelligence and new technologies entered our lives. At least in the form of jokes:

“People working hard and dangerous jobs, and artificial intelligence composing poetry and painting pictures – somehow this is not how the future was imagined.”

“We look to the future without forgetting traditions.

For the first time, an electronic medical record was lost in a Moscow hospital.”

“And remember, before in science fiction films, when they showed the future, everyone made video calls, and we thought: this is cool! If only it were true! But it turned out that no one needed this video connection for nothing. And now, if someone calls you via video call, you think: crazy, or what?”

They trampled on expensive balls to the fullest:

“Due to rising prices, it was decided to rename chicken eggs to white caviar”

“…And I also noticed that those who cannot buy eggs for 150 rubles and those who buy a pack of cigarettes for 200 rubles are often the same people.”

Cultural news was regularly delivered throughout the year, but everything was overshadowed by “The Boy’s Word”:

“I want the next season of the series to be called “The Word of Chushpan.” And there they simply showed how the guys go to music school, read Tolkien, watch “What? Where? When?”, play on the computer and submit reports, and then enter the university for the Olympiad.”

And in the news of incivility, you know what won:

“The people, in principle, don’t care about these “naked” parties, but the authorities inspire: “Don’t care, don’t care.”

“The Russian Ministry of Justice recognized Kirkorov’s apology as a letter from Filka.”

But the joke seems to be evergreen. It appeared on December 20 – the Day of Workers of Security Agencies of the Russian Federation. And in the end, according to the voting results of a large portal of jokes, it became one of the most popular:

“I go into the entrance.

Two neatly dressed electricians in brand new uniforms are tinkering with an electrical panel.

I tell them:

– Happy Chekist Day, comrades!

In reply:

So tomorrow!”

Well, this fairy tale story won in my personal rating:

“Narnia for adults.

You reach for cognac in a closet somewhere deep, but the closet still doesn’t run out; and suddenly – doors, snow, winter forest, spruce paws and a lantern. And you go there and return years later, a sad, wise and fair king. And then not even five minutes had passed. Guests look at you and ask: “Where is the cognac? Did you bring it?” You tell them the whole story, the guests look at each other and grin. They understand where the cognac is.”