How to overcome the fear of mobilization: SOS-algorithm from an expert

The news of recent days has unsettled many Russians, both sexes and all ages. Partial mobilization concerns mainly young men with experience in military service, but behind all of them – parents, wives, brides, children, sisters and brothers. And the strongest fear, according to psychologists, most of us experience not for ourselves, loved ones, but for loved ones. And this anxiety, multiplied by the lack of information, is already corroding from the inside those whose relatives and loved ones can be called upon. Or they may not be called, but the stress will already “drill” an irreparable hole in their health. How not to kill yourself with your own fears in the deep rear, a specialist in emergency psychological assistance suggests.

The expert warns: in an extreme situation, social masks often fall off, exposing the schematic simplicity of the protective mechanisms of each of us. Therefore, it is important to recognize your type in those described and provide yourself with timely assistance, without trying to artificially complicate and deepen your experiences. In the absence of a ground supported by facts, this is, in fact, a vague anxiety, corroding from the inside and often exaggerated by the imagination excited by other people’s words. For a labile (mobile) psyche, this is a direct and it is possible that a short path to disease states.

– In everyday peaceful life, each of us usually wears a certain habitual mask, even if he himself does not realize it, – says social psychologist Marina Leonova. – One has a “poker face” – a person consciously or unconsciously has accustomed himself not to show his emotions to others. The other is a merry fellow and a joker who reacts to everything with a joke. The third is a whiner, inclined to exaggerate everything that has a minus sign. And so on ad infinitum: any team is a whole theater, whether it wants it or not. But our internal personal protective mechanism works without any hypocrisy, it is dictated by the most ancient instincts and cannot be consciously controlled.

But what does this mean in practice?

– This means that in a state of fear – but only real, and not from a horror movie or fear of getting dispersed from the boss – a person who seems to be well known to you can suddenly jump out of his usual image and give the most unexpected reaction, including for himself himself. This turned on the protective mechanism and started working according to the algorithm laid down deep in the personality. Some people panic and do things they later regret – rash acts, careless words. Others seem to fall into a stupor (this is also an instinct from wildlife – to freeze, pretend to be inanimate so that the predator passes by). Still others turn on the “vanity” program: they breed additional chaos, tearing apart those around them, thus, as it were, shifting onto them part of the internal anxiety that exhausts them. There are also those who protect themselves from stress by attacking: without waiting for devastating news, they “go on the attack” first – predict the worst-case scenario ahead of time and act based on this scenario. There are many protective mechanisms, but they have one danger – with prolonged use, they destroy our psyche. They must work and turn off: as, for example, the engine overheated in the car, the cooling system automatically turned on, cooled and turned off – that’s it, the engine did not have time to fail. But if this system continues to cool it when it is no longer necessary, the motor will break, but not from overheating, but from hypothermia. So it is with the defensive reaction: you can’t get stuck in it. And applicable to today’s day, in this way you risk not only yourself, but also those close to you, for whom you are worried. After all, they are worried about your condition.

– In theory, it’s understandable. But how to apply in practice? I will give a simple example from life. 32-year-old Inna from the Moscow region has three kids and 33-year-old husband Igor, who feeds them all. Now he works in the field of trade, but at one time he studied at a military school. Of course, now Inna is going crazy with the thought that Igor can be mobilized, and she will be left alone with three babies. Is it possible to calm down in such a situation?

– Difficult, but possible. And most importantly, it is very necessary – for the benefit of the family itself. I will give the so-called SOS-algorithm for an emergency withdrawal of oneself from an alarming state. Not to be confused with a panic attack, in this state you still cannot help yourself: if you are caught off guard, try to breathe deeper and just wait. But if this is not an acute panic attack, but a heavy, viscous anxiety for a loved one that corrodes from the inside, you can help yourself. We act in stages.

Formulation. State your fear in one short sentence. Your horror will “dodge” you, preferring to remain blurry, because it is much more terrible that way. Your task is to catch it and isolate its essence. Do not be afraid of brevity-stringent wording, but to heighten the effect, write down the formula of your fear on paper. For example, if you “exfoliate” all emotions from Inna’s horror regarding the possible mobilization of her husband, the bottom line is “I’m afraid to be left without a husband for a long time or forever.” Now you can move on to the second stage.

Rationalization. Analyze the specific situation of the person you are worried about. On the example of Inna – Igor’s husband. Given his current job, military specialty, obtained many years ago, the presence of three minor children, health status and other circumstances, what is the real likelihood that your husband will be needed in the NWO zone?

Optimization. Even if what you were afraid of has already happened and a loved one has received a summons, wait, as the song says, bury him. No wonder people say that fear has big eyes. It is likely that he will get to the restoration work in the territories already controlled by Russia, will protect the sleep of civilians and revive their houses from the ruins, and in the meantime you will go crazy, sitting in the rear.

Inventory. This point follows from the three previous ones and involves the collection, analysis and double-checking for accuracy of information specifically for your fear. Remember that you can only trust the original source if it is reliable. In turbulent times, the wildest rumors voluntarily or involuntarily multiply the same as you – those who seek to throw off at least part of their tension on others. Do not take on the “garbage” from other people’s heads, try to assess the situation objectively. Nothing scares like ambiguity, and information will allow you to give a vague threat a clear outline and a degree of danger to you personally and your quality of life.

Resource and excursion. The resource is inside you, it’s definitely in everyone, it’s another matter that not everyone is able to extract it. You can discover and activate your resource, which will help you adequately pass the tests of strength, with the help of an excursion into your personal history. Recall a time when you were also uncomfortable, and how you got out of the situation, how you pulled yourself together and successfully coped. There is a similar story in the life of every adult, it is important to remember your then mood and “try on” it again.

Fixing your own position. Remember your “resource” attitude? Now fixate on it. From now on, no matter what happens, you will cope with it with dignity. There are no hopeless situations, there is only little will to win.