Behavior expert reveals 11 signs of narcissistic personality disorder

A leading behavioral expert explains how to recognize a narcissist in a romantic relationship and avoid falling for his tricks. Scott Taylor, speaking to a British publication, admitted that it is possible to have a relationship, platonic or romantic, with a narcissist as long as you are aware of the signs and know how to protect yourself.

The behavior expert believes that while most people have narcissistic tendencies, those who suffer from narcissism will use the people around them as “tools” to get their way. Scott Taylor was trained by the head of the FBI and the lead investigator at Guantanamo Bay, studying “body language, facial expressions, deception detection, influential behavior and the analysis of statements and words” and worked in security, safety and risk for almost 30 years. He noted that narcissism is often mistakenly attributed to vanity due to the hero in ancient Greek myth for whom the personality disorder is named, Narcissus.

A leading behavior expert has revealed how to recognize a narcissist and avoid falling for their tricks. “He was so fascinated by his own beauty that he could not stop looking into a pond of water until he died. Because of the way it’s communicated, people think it’s because of vanity, but it’s more than that,” he explained. “Narcissists are self-focused, they lack empathy, they only care about themselves, and people are tools that can be used to achieve their results.”

Scott added that narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and are obsessed with power and success due to their need for admiration.

“Relationships are like bank accounts in many ways. We make a lot of deposits, and the withdrawals we make determine whether it is a healthy bank balance or whether it has gone into overdraft,” admits the expert, emphasizing that for narcissists, it is a transaction in their best interest, and the concern is withdrawals from cards.

He stated that while narcissists are often very charismatic, they also often “beg for compliments” to satisfy their need for admiration, and are often jealous of others.

“If they start tracking your movements, isolating you, gaslighting you, denying the obvious, if they try to minimize your needs and opinions, these are some of the most powerful factors you need to pay attention to,” Scott Taylor reports.

One of their main traits is often showing envy instead of showing off themselves. Narcissists exhibit jealous outbursts more than others, which is something people don’t usually seek out. They also like to make empty promises, according to the expert.

“You have to focus on the immediate actions, steps and bullet points from them, not on promises, because narcissists are good with empty promises, they fill the world with them,” he explained.

Scott emphasized that everyone has narcissistic qualities, but this does not necessarily make them a narcissist, because a person wants to fulfill the need for recognition and admiration, but not to back it up with a pure belief in superiority and being superior to others, as narcissists do.

“The difference with narcissists is that this is their only motivation for behavior. There is no empathy at all at the core, so people become instruments and dealmakers in relationships,” comments the behavioral expert.

To deal with someone suspected of narcissism, you need to “put on your oxygen mask first.” According to Taylor, people need to set boundaries and speak out “calmly and clearly” and need to keep their self-esteem in check.

“First of all, you need to be aware of your own well-being and behavior. You need to focus on your oxygen mask, then everything will work better,” he explains. “If you first stay focused and calm while putting on your own oxygen mask, then having some awareness and understanding of that will help you deal with things like this better.”

Scott Taylor recommends doing this in a calm manner to reduce the risk of provoking an aggressive response based on anger:

“You accept that this person needs additional support and assistance. It is important to keep in mind those other points that I mentioned first. You can do this if you have clear boundaries, you are calm and focused, and you can communicate consistently and specifically about whether behavior is outside your boundaries.”

Scott warned that once a narcissist’s behavior begins to escalate into verbal or emotional abuse and the person begins to exhibit psychological attacks, then it is time to move on.