A new way to meet: couchsurfing began to bring together Russian couples

“I want it to be a lonely man”

– The main condition of couchsurfing is to look for an apartment not just to spend the night, but also to communicate with the owners. This can be seen from the profiles on the site, – says 28-year-old Muscovite Olesya. – I am a sociable person, and I have always liked this way of traveling, precisely because in a foreign country and an unfamiliar city they are waiting for you, they tell you a lot of interesting things, often things that you will not learn from any guidebook. And no guide will show you as much as a local resident. When I got married, we began to travel this way with my husband, he also became a fan of couchsurfing.

Olesya recalls that the main disappointment of such trips has always been parting with the owners:

– Almost every time it turned out that even in one day spent together, we became very friendly with the owners of the property. Probably because people who invite strangers to live with them are very kind, sociable, open. And when it came time to leave, we realized that, most likely, we would not see each other again. It was very, very sad.

And two years ago, Olesya broke up with her husband. She does not want to talk about the reasons, she does not hold a grudge against her ex, she believes that both are to blame for not being able to save their love.

Like it or not, but now Olesya is again traveling the world alone, and she doesn’t like it at all. And the world has narrowed down a lot – many states have closed to Russians, and now the girl does not have enough finances for exotic countries, even if she uses free housing from couchsurfers.

– This spring, I decided to go to St. Petersburg for a week, and began to study the offers of the couchsurfing site. And suddenly I caught myself looking, first of all, not at the apartment, but at its owner, – Olesya smiles. I wanted him to be the right age and single. So that you can not only have a good time together on a trip, but also continue communication later – Peter is not far away, it’s quite possible to go back and forth …

Okay, I won’t play around, I honestly admit – I thought that a young guy could introduce me to his friends if we don’t like each other … To be honest, I really don’t like living alone, I want to get married again or at least have permanent relationship, I’m not the kind of person to cuckoo alone, it’s very boring to me.

Olesya believes that the trip to St. Petersburg was a success in all respects – the owner was cheerful and kind, walked a lot with her around the city and its environs, and spent a couple of evenings in clubs with his friends. True, it has not yet worked out with his personal life – the sociable owner turned out to have a girl, also sweet and friendly, who also spent all the time with them. Among friends, too, has not yet found the one, the only one. But Olesya is still inspired:

– In Russia, too, I will now travel only by couchsurfing! This is better than a dating site – only really good people let strangers into their homes. I will simply specify my requirements for the owner clearly – they say, I want it to be a single man. Do not be shy, the more honesty and directness between people, the better!

“Usually girls would invite me to bed!”

But 44-year-old Larisa from Prokopievsk has already made an attempt to use couchsurfing solely for the purpose of dating. She began to look closely at this service after a friend with whom they went on vacation together every year left the country, and Larisa was left without a travel partner.

“At first I studied this topic for the sake of vacations, so as not to spend them alone,” she admits. – But I soon realized: this is a good way to get to know each other.

By the way, judging by the reviews on the site, many use couchsurfing as a service for dating. They even warn you – beware of harassment! Well, why should I be afraid – at my age, harassment can only rejoice. I’m kidding, of course. But if a man hosting a lonely guest is ready to have an affair with her – long or not very long, what’s wrong with that?

Now Larisa is going to Abakan, to the Krasnoyarsk reservoir – she has already agreed there with a man who is ready to receive her as a visitor.

“I immediately warned that everything would depend on how much we like each other,” she says. “Maybe we’ll sleep in the same bed, maybe not, then we’ll just talk in a friendly way.” He agrees with me, an adequate person, not some kind of maniac for sure.

So I’m sure I’m not risking anything. Well, if suddenly I feel sick with him, I’ll move to a camp site – I looked after one there just in case. I have money, it’s not a problem.

Student Oleg from the Moscow region is sure that many girls in the outback, who let guys from large cities live for free, do this in the hope of making acquaintance with the “capital stuff”, and if you’re lucky, then getting married.

“I have already traveled half the country,” he boasts. “And never paid rent!”

– At your age of 19 – and already half the country?

– Yes, of course – I was in Kostroma, in Yoshkar-Ola, in the Kursk region, near Rostov-on-Don … And everywhere I spent the night with the girls, usually they even invited me to bed!

– And you didn’t refuse?

– Why refuse, the girls were all normal, not freaks …

– If they counted on you as a resident of the capital, then they did not demand the continuation of the banquet?

– Well, hinted, of course. But I did not sign a contract with them!

– By the way. You’re not a Muscovite, you’re from Zhukovsky! Cheating, you mean?

– I did not deceive anyone, for them the near Moscow region is the same as Moscow …

“With you – a visit to the theater”

How free guests look through the eyes of the inviting party, we were told by a Muscovite Valentin, who has been hosting tourists from all over the world for many years. Valentin is 57 years old, lives alone – he divorced his wife a long time ago, the children are adults, he is not going to marry again – “so as not to step on the same rake.”

– For me, couchsurfing is a way to learn more about different places, because I myself am a homebody and almost never leave the capital. And it is interesting to talk with travelers, especially with those who travel a lot, have seen a lot and can tell all sorts of different things.

A couple of times it turned out unpleasantly – a person came, immediately went to bed, and the next morning he went about his business and did not even exchange a few words with me. But this is only twice, and it’s almost always interesting, sincerely communicated. In general, this is even written in the rules on the site – if you don’t want to communicate with the owner, it’s better to rent an apartment or a hotel.

I don’t often let guests in, but it’s a tiresome business. But once every two or three months is quite normal.

I hosted foreigners only five times, then I stopped: because I don’t know English very well, and explaining myself with fingers is a below-average pleasure. Therefore, now I invite only Russian-speakers – no matter what nationality, once a Hungarian came to me, who spoke excellent Russian, we talked very well, I took him in my car to Suzdal, of course, for free. Well, as for free – he paid for me in restaurants on this trip, so I’m not at a loss.

– Do you invite women to your place?

– Why not invite, what’s the difference – a man or a woman?

– You can have an affair with a woman, for example, to spin … At least for the duration of the visit.

“Novels are of little interest to me. But talking to a smart woman is nice. For example, go to the theater together. I love the theater, but there is no one to go there with, friends or wives go, or do not go at all. When I am in a “theatrical” mood, I host women and I stipulate in advance: you will visit the theater.

“Well, aren’t they trying to seduce you?”

– A couple of times it was that they flirted. In principle, I don’t mind, I don’t want a long burdensome relationship, so the option that she will leave soon suits me perfectly.

– That is, did short-term novels happen?

– How curious you are. I won’t talk about it, think what you want!

But Marina, the owner of the apartment in Pereslavl-Zalessky, spoke specifically and unambiguously:

– I am a writer, I invite guests for the sake of fresh impressions and stories that I need for creativity. But as for men, they often start their hurdy-gurdy – let’s have a drink, this and that. I agree to drink – sincere stories that I need are better for a bottle. Well, men then try to move our communication to bed. And I don’t need it at all.

So I immediately warn you – I’m married! Although actually unmarried, haha. But this does not stop everyone, there were not very pleasant moments, but in such a way that they directly harassed, this never happened, pah-pah.

– So why do you invite men then?

– I need a variety of characters as life material, so I can’t limit myself to just girls. In addition, bright personalities are more common among men, you will excuse me, I deduced this from many years of my observations of life. Therefore, whether I like it or not, it is impossible to avoid men.

Psychologist Oleg Shevchenko comments: “In my opinion, couchsurfing as a way of dating is quite viable. Because mostly lonely people invite strangers to visit, those who really lack communication – no matter what they say about themselves. Namely, such citizens in most cases are most open to personal relationships. And guests traveling alone are more likely to establish close acquaintances.

It is also important that both of them are very sociable and sociable people, others simply would not agree to such a form of residence.

It is clear that both among the hosts and among the guests there are many who do not at all strive for intimacy and love. But usually such people invite guests of their own gender to avoid excesses and misunderstandings. In any case, it is always better to immediately specify your wishes in this regard, so as not to find yourself in an awkward situation later.

As for young people, for them couchsurfing, in my opinion, is very useful in absolutely all aspects. This is both a trigger to get out of the virtual life in gadgets, and an extra incentive for traveling, and, of course, a way to meet. Young guys and girls need to get to know each other a lot, often, to get to know human society in all its diversity, not to become isolated in their narrow circle – this makes people more tolerant, expands their horizons.

I will make a reservation – now I do not mean sexual relations at all, but ordinary, human ones. Well, intimacy can become an accompaniment for any method of dating.