A good horse is better than a bad wife: why did the Spaniards legalize carnal love for animals

The history of the issue turned out to be ambiguous

The agile and graceful Spanish bullfighters already aroused erotic dreams in the audience, and now that Spain has excluded bestiality from a number of criminal offenses, their fantasies will take on new colors. From now on, the law of the Spanish kingdom will condemn only the matador (the main character of the bullfight, who kills the bull in the finale), but not the bullfighter – ordinary participants in the bullfight, who only flirt with the bulls with their red scarves (any relationship between Spanish citizens and animals is now punishable only if the animal after them needed a veterinarian). But, according to the new Spanish law “On the Protection of Animals” for the killing of a rat that entered the house, a citizen of Spain now shines up to 2 years in prison. And for the accidental pregnancy of a domestic dog in the absence of its owner a license to breed this breed – a fine of 200 thousand euros.

While most of the Network is discussing these amendments to the law as a “new level of freedom and responsibility” achieved by the Spaniards, only Runet behaves indecently, releasing inappropriate greasy jokes. The resourceful Russian network people have even figured out how not to sit down for a rat: “We need to sleep with her so that she doesn’t come again.” They also remembered the nursery rhyme-horror story: “If I had a horse, it would be a number, if the horse had me, I would probably die …”.

However, where is the Runet to assess the seriousness of the Spanish legal achievement, if in Russia the term “bestiality” was found only in the tabloid press of dubious erotic content, which is now obsolete along with other types of concepts corrupting youth. There is, of course, in domestic psychiatry, but Russian psychiatrists prefer the original term “bestiality” – sexual attraction to animals and getting satisfaction from sexual contact with them.

In psychiatric treatises there are even ratings of preferences by sex and by region: for men in some latitudes, goats, sheep and donkeys are in the first place, in others mares and cows, and in others deer, seals and sled dogs. But women in all parts of the world are faithful to cats and communicate with them in a way that has been allowed by law in Canada since 2016 (there, in relation to animals, only sexual intercourse with “penetration” is outlawed, all other pranks are at the discretion of the person and his pet). By the way, now it’s up to the development of correct terminology: it’s ugly to call this couple that has entered into a relationship “the owner and his pet” after this. Rather, a favorite and his lover – or vice versa.

It is worth plunging into the history of the issue, as you understand: and humanity, in the sense of these “new freedoms”, has been going around in circles for centuries. And what today is called a “quality breakthrough” was considered a shameful failure a couple of centuries ago. And before that, too, “jump” – and so deep into the centuries. Bestiality was not condemned in ancient Rome, Greece, India and pre-Columbian America. In the Middle Ages, Europe changed its mind and began to actively burn zoophiles alive. But Rus’ in the same period behaved in a civilized manner: although it did not approve of bestiality, it did not persecute “lovers of their favorites.” Here is how the Bishop of Novgorod Nifont answered the question of the Austrian envoy whether the Russians use the milk and meat of a cow with which a person has copulated: “Everyone can eat it, except for the corrupter himself.” Later, however, morals became stricter and for bestiality they began to deprive of their fortune and exile to Siberia. The only ones who initially did not see any benefit in bestiality – neither agrarian nor moral – are the Jews. The ancients ruthlessly punished bestiality with the death penalty, modern ones also punish, but not so severely. The Jews are the only ones who have not changed this belief throughout history. Islam, of course, did not welcome either, but, for example, in the ex-Soviet Central Asian republics, at the dawn of the Bolshevik principles of “free love”, they tolerated the exercises of young hot shepherds with sheep, if only he did not dishonor the bride before marriage, for this is a sin. In recent history (with the outbreak of the Iraqi war in 2003), the US Senate allowed American servicemen to have sex not only with each other, but also with animals.

I’m interested in my own husband’s opinion. And the faithful, habitually not delving into the essence of “female chirping”, involuntarily delivers a verdict:

– What? Where? Aaaaah, well, yes, a good horse is better than a bad wife.