Plywood over Bishkek: Kyrgyz musicians officially banned from using phonograms

“For songs with a phonogram, you have to pay with photocopies of money.”

Ronnie James Dio

The coming New Year brought terrible news to Kyrgyz artists. From January 1, 2023, artists of Kyrgyzstan are prohibited from using a phonogram. The corresponding order was signed by the Minister of Culture Altynbek Maksutov. And now live sound is becoming a prerequisite for performances in the buildings of state institutions, education and culture, in theaters, philharmonic societies, concert halls, clubs, museums, libraries, cinema halls and sports facilities. The ban on the use of a phonogram also applies to cultural events. In general, Khan to the Kyrgyz plywood makers. What about ours?

No one will forbid foreign artists (read: Russian) to perform in Bishkek to the phonogram, as is customary for many of them. Traditions of races under “plywood” on our stage are strong and, I’m not afraid of this word, they are even one of the main bonds of the domestic show business. At the turn of the 80s and 90s, his labor pains splashed onto the stage not only numerous clones of “Tender May” and “Mirage” (of course, phonogram, but how else?), But even a whole clip of rockers who did not disdain to shake their hair and to make a “goat” on stage under the metal, cheerfully pouring from the Mayak tape recorder (the most popular model at that time among the “plywood makers”).

And if in those days the use of a phonogram was somehow justified by the disgusting technical equipment of concert venues (well, what else could be expected from an antediluvian philharmonic apparatus that still remembered Khrushchev’s speeches from flexible records?), then “plywood” now, at twenty the first century, even in average karaoke, the sound quality is an order of magnitude better than in the Oktyabrsky Concert Hall in Leningrad of the 1991 model.

Personally, I consider concerts to the phonogram a real fraud. Deception of the viewer. And I sincerely would like the State Duma to adopt a law similar to the Kyrgyz one (so far the law only regulates, but does not prohibit the use of a phonogram). Oh, how pure nature would be! How many young artists can not break into the scene, occupied by voiceless phonogrammers with multi-million dollar budgets invested in promotion by their patrons …

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It would seem that any normal music lover would only be for such a law. Who likes it when, for your own hard-earned money spent on a ticket, you are cruelly deceived, slipping a recording instead of an honest live performance that you could safely listen to at home? But, to my great surprise, it turned out that there is a rather impressive layer of viewers … who absolutely do not care!

When I posted this news about the Kyrgyz law in my telegram channel, then suddenly a heated discussion unfolded in the comments for me. Some of the arguments just struck me on the spot, for example: “And I would be glad if the artist was allowed and not considered something indecent to sing to his own soundtrack. There is an artist, a good one, but due to his age he can no longer sing the same way as in his youth. And the spectator, disgusting, coming to the concert, expects to hear the same performance as he is used to listening to on the record … That is, it’s good if it’s live, but if it doesn’t go well live, then it’s possible with your own soundtrack. Or else: “If the show is of high quality, then let it be “plywood”, sometimes a live voice is far from better. Well, you have a professional look, but I, as a consumer, am not tempted.” “To whom did the singer suddenly become? I come to see and listen to any performance. Or I don’t come” – and so on …

That is, it turned out that many are completely voluntarily ready for the fact that they are blatantly deceived at concerts! And they are happy to be deceived: they are ready to listen to a phonogram for the sake of a colorful show (it would be better if they went to the circus: there the show is in any way more diverse than that of any voiceless singer. Elephants again …).

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Of course, performances to the phonogram are not our end-to-end invention. In addition to TV shows (where live sound is extremely difficult to organize), artists appreciated the charm of performances to a tape recorder back in the disco era: you can’t almost carry an orchestra, which is mandatory for this style, on tour, but a tape with a recording is easy! In addition to concerts, the deception of the public like a snake leaked into the studio. Frank Farian, producer of the famous Boney M., introduced the dancer Bobby Farrell, who could not sing at all, into the group, who diligently opened his mouth to the soundtrack recorded by Frank himself. The chip, as they say, rolled, and Farian finished plywood art to the absolute. One of his next projects, the duet Milli Vanilli, consisted of two strippers, who were sung in the studio by jazz singers who were not so young, beautiful and completely unable to rotate their pelvis invitingly. When the fraud was revealed, the producer was ordered through the court to return the money for the sold albums to every willing buyer. Frank Farian had to pay as much as 3.4 million dollars!

But in our realities, alas, you can open your mouth to someone else’s voice as you like and with complete impunity. And nothing will come of it! Take the same Mirage: to the soundtrack recorded by Margarita Sukhankina and Natalya Gulkina, so many trains traveled around the country … that even I, who repeatedly crossed paths with the Mirages on tour, will not remember all these beautiful ladies! Here, of course, the complete lack of information of the public about the real participants in the recordings played its role, which, in fact, was planned by the authors of the project. Since no one knows the singers by sight, it means that you can roll several trains around the country and row money in a multiple amount.

Another of dozens of similar examples: it seems that the whole country already knew that Vadim Uslanov actually sang the super hit Night Rendezvous, and Chris Kelmi only courageously played with his eyebrows and the rest of his face in the video … but that didn’t change anything! No one subjected Kelmi to public censure, canceled concerts, filming, and so on. It turned out to people … all the same! At the same time, if they came to a restaurant, and instead of eating they were offered to admire her photographs, and then they demanded a bill, as if for a real dinner, then anyone would be indignant and make a scandal! But when exactly the same thing happens at concerts…

In general, it would be necessary to strictly oblige to write on posters: “The concert takes place under the full soundtrack.” They write all sorts of horror stories on the packs of cigarettes, but why don’t they warn here? No, formally there even seem to be such requirements, I somehow saw the inscriptions on a couple of posters: “The concert is held under a partial phonogram”, but no one particularly observes them (especially on tours in the outback). But if (by analogy with packs) a warning inscription occupied half of the poster … then many people would probably think ten more times: are they ready to give their real money for fake singing.

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Another aspect: in connection with the development of music composed, played and even sung by artificial intelligence (which I wrote about in my previous article), more and more questions arise regarding the same soundtrack during concerts. Imagine a concert… a computer program. So to speak, AI-Live. Will this LIVE performance (that is, in real time, by a computer program) be considered a “plywood concert”? Since listeners around the world are actively listening to and buying music performed by AI, why not arrange similar shows? As it should be: with holograms of “performers” on the stage (this is already almost an everyday reality, by the way). What will happen to the entertainment industry then?

It seems to me that the development of such “artificial artists” will very quickly put an end to the careers of numerous “singing cowards”. The neural network sings incomparably better quality, even more soulful. I listened to a lot of computer performances and I can say with confidence that 90 percent of Russian singers can safely retrain as concierges. Well, or in tarologists and nail craftswomen. It is already unrealistic for them to compete with AI now. And as for the show… you understand: computer graphics is developing at a terrible speed, and soon people who are now ready to “listen to a tape recorder” at concerts will be happy to go to enchanting 3D shows of artificial artists.

However, there are already concerts at the intersection of the living and the artificial. The recently reunited ABBA spent several months in the studio recording their vocals and digitizing their stage moves for their own holographic avatars (well, it’s hard for the oldies on stage already!). And now this show is a huge success: the musicians of the session group play along live, and the phonogram “sings and dances” with projections of the significantly rejuvenated members of the legendary ensemble. In Russia, the musicians of the Kino group also did something similar, playing live concerts to the recorded voice of Viktor Tsoi …

And in the near future, those musicians who can REALLY play and sing, and do it not just well, but at the highest level, with their own unique zest (not subject to computer imitation), will become a real artistic elite. Remember how in The Fifth Element the audience flew to the moon for big money to attend a concert of the unique singer Plavalaguna? I am sure that (albeit not on the Moon) in the near future a sort of caste of super performers will form, and the music mass market will be mainly filled with colorful 3D chewing gum performed by computer “artists” developing at a truly frightening speed.

In the meantime, this brave new world has not yet finally arrived … show a modicum of respect for those who truly and sincerely give themselves to the audience on stage. Do not go to the plywood show, you can watch them at home in the recording. Go to concerts of live (in every sense) musicians. And, as the robot Werther said, there will be something to remember in the landfill …