Intellectual – MK
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– There is so much counterfeit money – it’s dangerous for a person to take change at the market! — Khlyustopludov was indignant.
“Exactly,” Yenisherlov assented. “And most importantly, the quality is so outrageously low that only old grandmothers and grandfathers come across fake banknotes.”
– Well, of course, who can argue: the quality of fakes needs to be improved dramatically. To put more shoes on the young and rich, we don’t feel sorry for them.
– Yes. It is a great joy that we have now shelled out for a super printer and installed artificial intelligence on our computer.
– Things will work out! Since AI is artificial intelligence, let’s call it Ivan Ivanovich! “Khlyustopludov vigorously rubbed his hands and pulled out a five-thousand ruble from his pocket. He rustled it invitingly in front of the monitor, placed it in the slot of the paper receptacle and said into the microphone: “Come on, smart girl, make us an exact copy.”
The computer whirred, the screen blinked, as well as all the lights visible to the eye. The real banknote returned to the businessman’s palm, and from another slot the printer spat out a copy, and the one that did not jump out completely hung over the table with a cheerful orange tongue.
– Wow, my mother is a woman! – Enisherlov showed delight. – Like the real thing, you can’t tell the difference. There’s even a watermark image! Only this, tavo… Ivan Ivanovich, one five is not enough – we need a lot of money.
The device started working again and soon printed out a five-thousand-size image the size of half a sheet of newspaper.
– Ugh, here’s “big money” for you! We forgot that the intellect takes all commands literally. Hey, Ivan Ivanovich, make us not one, but a hundred exact copies!
This time the artificial intelligence condescended to give a verbal response. The microphone said: “It will be done!” About ten minutes later, the friends excitedly caressed their fingers and passed each other a wad of money that smelled like fresh paint.
– This is what I understand! A few more visits, and you can go through Turkey to the Canary Islands.
“Yeah, you’re off to the Canary Islands…” Khlyustoplyudov suddenly became gloomy, ruffling his hair. – Don’t you want to give up on the bunk?.. Everyone has the same numbers in the pack. Let’s start selling – they’ll grab it for one place.
– You’re right, the pliers suck. Well, just a minute…
Yenisherlov fed two more reams of deluxe paper into the printer and, slapping his lips, read the serial number on the genuine bill.
– That’s it, intellectual. Print us a thousand absolute copies. This, as they say, is done once – for starters… But the numbers on each next one are in increasing order, starting from eight-five-three-three-three-two-zero.
To the sound of a working computer and printer, they sat down at the table, poured boiling water over a glass of instant coffee, and began to drink it slowly and with pleasure.
– Wow! Finished? — Khlystoplyudov rejoiced, looking at his watch. – Quickly, well done, Ivan Ivanovich!
“Completely finished,” the artificial intelligence readily reported. – And the information was also transmitted.
– Any other information, what kind of bullshit is this?
— According to an auto-analysis of global experience, the issuance of money is an official act. Information about your new issue personally, all banknote numbers and complete data about the issuers, as expected, I have already kindly transferred to the main bank of the country, fiscal services and law enforcement agencies. Saved you from unnecessary hassle. Don’t thank me.
Yenisherlov choked on the remains of his coffee. And Khlystopludov grabbed a travel bag lying in the corner and began to fuss, throwing into it things that came to hand in the room:
– Eh, maybe we’ll still have time… Let’s move quickly!
As he was about to slam the door behind him, he looked back and said reproachfully:
– Intelligence, intelligence!.. You are a bastard, not intelligence. And who are you, who did this to you?!
Evgeny Oneginsky
Extraologisms
iPhone
Baobabushka
Harmful
Disability
Leisureholic
Duharizma
Mortgage
Deprivation
Plagiarist
Vladimir Butkov
It dawned on me
A baggage of knowledge often ends up in a warehouse of forgotten things.
Stanislav Ovechkin
Windy girls are the best at inflating the sails of our dreams.
Sergey Fedin
This is only sclerosis in men, and in women it is a girl’s memory.
Marina Palta
You won’t find anyone ready to work with fire during the day.
Andrey Sokolov
Head of the column Dzhanguli Gvilava, e-mail: [email protected]
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