“They say: we don’t give a damn, we are suicide bombers”

The background to Igor Panin’s trip to the Donbass was organized fees for a UAZ SGR car – colloquially referred to as “Loaf”. I remember that during the Second World War, the Soviet people collected a penny (including in Orthodox churches) for tanks and planes. Why suddenly “loaf” – we asked about this in the first place.

– My friend, poet and military commissar Aleksey Shorokhov suggested that I bring a “Loaf” for the People’s Militia of the DPR, because an ordinary good car is not needed there. But to take out the wounded from the front line or deliver medicines – there is a catastrophic lack of transport for this. Cars are constantly blowing up, being shot at – and so they become unusable. And so we assembled for an almost new “Loaf”, plus we bought 55 pairs of winter berets, 60 sleeping bags, 50 and walkie-talkies with a headset. Each walkie-talkie could be supplemented with an antenna for improved communication, and a spare battery was taken so that the soldier could change it. They also took a bunch of medicines – anti-inflammatory, anti-cold, antifungal, for pressure, for diabetes (there are also diabetics there). We bought thermal underwear, thermal socks, mugs, hats, gloves – we collected everything we needed. You have to understand that these are not Russian servicemen – they really lack uniforms.

– How many people will these “supplies” last?

– Half a company or two platoons. We went to the tankers, and to the infantrymen – and all this was delivered to them in small batches on the same “Loaf”, which was then presented as a gift. They bought something on the spot – the fighters asked for cigarettes, sweets, tea. There was a lot needed.

– Igor, according to your photos in social networks, where you are in a uniform with stripes “Novorossiya”, at first I thought that you went to Donbass as a volunteer. Do you have such a desire?

– It’s not about how someone wants and does not want, but how it turns out. In 2014-2015, there was such a “Makhnovshchina” when it was not clear who came from Russia – criminal elements, romantics, mentally unbalanced people, and often they ended very badly. Therefore, now everything is centralized and under strict control. Roughly speaking, I can’t enroll in the People’s Militia of the DPR – I don’t live there. If someone from the Russian Federation wants to fight there, then he needs to sign up with us, but this is also not so simple. Two of my friends wanted to become volunteers, went to the Russian military registration and enlistment offices, and now one did not fit in age (he was over fifty), and the second was not taken, since he had no experience in serving in the army. It is clear that Aleksey and I are our own in the Donbass, and if a massive attack of the Armed Forces of Ukraine suddenly began, we would, of course, stand up for Horlivka. But in vain do many people think that you can go there and they will immediately give you a weapon there.

– How are the local fighters holding up there?

They are all terribly motivated. The people’s militia are such beasts, simple monsters. Unlike contractors, who can fall ill or refuse (refuseees are called “five hundredths”), NM servicemen are ready to fight to the death and not everyone will be taken on. And if they took me, I would be terribly proud. But while my humanitarian mission is completed, I will talk about it on social networks, and then I will write a separate article for Literaturka.

– What does the capital of the republic and other cities look like today?

– Donetsk looks neglected. It can be seen that everywhere the walls are cut with fragments, somewhere there are no windows – they were hammered with something, polyethylene, plywood, for example. But in this regard, Gorlovka is much more neglected. We were in the capital of the DPR twice, we took accreditation there, but mostly we lived in Gorlovka, and it is under heavy shelling. Every night arrivals, “incoming” – “outgoing”. And every day there were corpses. When the priest consecrated our “Loaf”, the day was sunny, clear, fine. The priest performs the ceremony – and gaps are heard. And there is practically no one on the street. When there are “arrivals”, everyone sits at home. But we even performed in Gorlovka – in the local library and at the Institute of Foreign Languages.

In general, there should have been three performances, the third – in Zhdanovka.

But it did not work out, because the direct road there was dangerous, and they could not make a detour – it was towards evening.

– How did Gorlovka residents listen to poetry?

– The spectators were sitting quietly, thundering outside the window – and they say: “We are used to it.” They don’t have such fear anymore – well, they will fly and fly. Donetsk residents behave just as courageously – you immediately start to respect them, you understand that they are not just ordinary people. Many who wanted to, have long since left. And those that remained are real people, patriots of their land. When you look at them, you become ashamed that you yourself live in relative comfort somewhere in Moscow, and do not experience what they feel. But these are our people, they need to be protected, they need to be helped.

– Probably, writers are not accepted anywhere with such gratitude now, as in Donetsk land?

Yes, we were well received. We brought a box of books, including children’s books. They are just sorely lacking. Sophia Ezziati gave her children’s books, the writer Igor Angler donated a recently published book about Princess Diana. And we presented a collection of poetry by Maxim Zamshev, my books, Alexei Shorokhov, Anastasia Ermakova.

In response, they gave us tea (in the Donbass, not only tea – a bottle of clean water – is a huge value, – B.S.), they even poured cognac at the Institute of Foreign Languages.

We could have brought more books, but we decided to fill the car not with books, but with more suitable cargo for the front.

– What else was carried as a humanitarian cargo – tell us more.

– The essentials. For example, diapers for adults, for the Gorlovka hospital, where seriously wounded fighters lie. The diapers were handed over from Voronezh by a man who himself fought recently as part of the Bars-19 volunteer corps.

Everything that was, we transported exactly along the front line – we didn’t do it like this: they brought it, dumped it and take it away. We ourselves were interested in getting to the tankers, to the infantry – they stand in positions that are really shot through, three hundred meters, four hundred meters – the Ukrainian army. We went not to bury ourselves somewhere, we were guided by the principle: “If you are afraid, don’t do it, but if you do it, don’t be afraid.”

– Were the tankers happy with the gifts?

– We gave them flags, and even a black-yellow-white banner with the inscription “We are Russians – God is with us.” And also – tourist saddles. It’s already cold now and it’s not easy to sit, excuse me, as the fifth point on the ice armor.

The guys were grateful, We hugged them, took pictures – which surprised me – no one hid their faces. In the Armed Forces of the Russian Federation, as a rule, people do not want to “shine”. And in the People’s Militia they say: “We don’t care, we are suicide bombers, or we will win – or they will kill us.” Well-known commanders with famous call signs, and ordinary soldiers, think so. “Nails should be made of these people” – this is about them. The only thing they admit is that there are fewer of them. Someone was killed in eight years, others were crippled – without arms, without legs, they cannot fight. And the third ones got old, so we brought them pills for pressure and from the heart. Age is still eager to fight, and they are sixty plus. And with all the zeal – they are not what they were before.

How are the infantry doing?

– There are also problems there, the supply commanders said that few people help simple, “non-promoted” units. “Sparta”, “Somalia” and others – they are not deprived of attention. And people often forget about the People’s Militia. Near Gorlovka, ordinary fighters sometimes fight in sneakers, in sweatpants or in working overalls – whoever has what. Often equipment is purchased at your own expense. They were very surprised that we came to them. This hot spot is hotter than many others. Gorlovka has been in an operational semi-environment for so many years. In positions there, a sniper can easily shoot you, a projectile can fly in or a DRG can sneak up on you. Somewhere you go or walk, and an hour later – broads, people died there, and you could die. In general, the adrenaline is off scale!