Hit Ruslan Aliyev “Girl Russian dose” struck by illiteracy

Hit Ruslan Aliyev "Girl Russian dose" struck by illiteracy

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The main intrigue of the beach season-22 was the singer Ruslan Aliyev, about whom almost nothing is known. There are not even more or less reliable photographs and videos of the artist. At the same time, the audience goes crazy, wondering what nationality he is? The fact is that Aliyev made a pronounced non-Russianness his hallmark and even a brand, and after that he organized a real musical conveyor, literally churning out “non-Russian” songs in Russian, glorifying the various nationalities of the former USSR. As a result, vacationing tourists cheerfully roast their sides to the track with the strange name “Russian Dose Girl” on the entire Russian segment of the Black Sea coast, which ZD witnessed with their own ears, which risked curling up every now and then.

In this unforgettable song, to a cheerful oriental melody, the following is narrated: “Ay, brother, speak Russian! Russian eyes drove me crazy … / Girl Russian dose, you are my beautiful rose / Russia is big, the country is golden, girls are the bomb, boys are cool / Russian people are always forward! Singer Shaman with his poster patriotic opus of the season “I’m Russian to spite the whole world” just, nervously twitching, lit up on the sidelines. The poetry of the musician Aliev looks like a random set of words with the indispensable mention of “Russianness” in every sentence. It sounds, of course, comical, eventually turning into importunately meaningless white noise. But the text, difficult for perception by a minimally intelligent and semi-intelligent person, found its grateful listeners, and in commercial quantities, and they filled up the track with enthusiastic comments on the Internet. Which once again proved that even dietary doses of intellectual intelligence are not the soil on which pop mass culture will flourish like thistles, especially in modern times. Moreover, the comments are written in exactly the same broken Russian as the song. After a few minutes of reading them, you begin to doubt whether you really think in Russian, and a trembling hand involuntarily reaches for Dostoevsky’s volume as an antidote for this language poison.

Inspired by the success of the “masterpiece” about the “Russian dose” (whatever that means), Aliyev set about processing other nationalities. Following the Russian girl, the Armenian girl was sung. It is already hailed as a “cobra”. Moreover, neither “cobra” nor “dose” are at least somewhat complimentary comparisons, so it is not clear why the author used these particular epithets. Perhaps these are parts of some specific slang for an artist from those mysterious lands where he will be from.

The Armenian was followed by an Azerbaijani, “just a miracle of my magnet.” And behind her is a girl from Uzbekistan, of course. In a song about an Uzbek woman, the author clearly quotes his own text about a Russian woman: “Salam, Uzbekistan! Our brothers are golden / Respect – you are just cool / Uzbek is my heart / She is my dose, a beautiful rose … ”In general, the rose somehow got stuck … Fantasy went in a circle of self-repetition, and this circle seems to have finally closed , because just two days ago, exactly the same track dedicated to Tajik women appeared! “Our boys are golden / Tajiks are always cool / They solve any issue / Tajiks are a great people / Tajiks are always forward!” Here! And here again – “forward”. So if everyone rushes forward, what a mess it will be! …

The crisis of poetry in popular music has long been screaming about itself from the very bottom of the pop radio waves, but Ruslan Aliev managed to break through this bottom with his seemingly harmless, peaceful songs, which in turn reward all the former Soviet sisters by earrings. The popularity of such trash stampings only confirms the postulate once sung by Sergei Shnurov that “our people love all kinds of shit.”

Compared to this obscurantism, the playful leapfrog in the texts of last year’s kings of summer, Galibri & Mavik, looks like an example of the art of iambic and trochaic. If last summer season everyone lit up under “I’m like Federico Fellini, give this goddess an Oscar”, now the guys have composed a new chant: “I’m like Chuck Norris! I’m very cool! And you don’t want to be friends with me … ”Here at least it’s clear what it’s about, and at least thanks for that. It is only their obsessive change of stage masks that causes concern: sometimes they are like Fellini, sometimes they are like Chuck Norris. I wonder who they will be next year? And if, in pursuit of romantic adventures, their cinematic horizons will reach Tinto Brass? And here we have a struggle for bonds and hypocrisy … oh, sorry, spirituality …

Against this background, I want to kiss the Degrees group with their fresh, sea-salt-soaked and properly warmed-up track “Until the Sun”, each note of which breathes with a relaxed resort atmosphere and genuine romance, adorned with French: “I love you, probably, to the sun, and you with a bronze tan are not for me. On the eve of this premiere, the musicians in their social networks urged everyone to get high from the last month of summer, not to sweat over trifles and not waste time in vain.

Not without another “strong woman”, this time instead of Olga Buzova, Anna Asti, known for the duet Artik & Asti, set off in a cockroach run after the shadow of Alla Pugacheva. Her new track “Bar Bars” squeezes a mean female tear from the eyes of Russian ladies who are accustomed to the riotous image of their husbands, who first make mistakes and then repent of them. The tragic story of mutual abuse, which is depicted by a typical blonde in latex, is fairly embellished with details from the new digital life: “You start again, from afar and slowly, look at stories, then like, and it starts spinning … , but in the cart. Interestingly, all this Internet fuss in the texts no longer hits the ears, but is taken for granted. Such a haramambura of the 21st century …

Since the time of her participation in the popular duet with the rapper, Anna’s fans have been incredibly happy for the singer and do not get tired of noting that the exit from the duet project did her good. When the singer presented a solo project at the end of 2021, ill-wishers choked with poisonous saliva that she alone could not do anything and would disappear, like most artists who had gone to solo bread. But Anna proved the opposite by performing with Philip Kirkorov, and then reinforcing her position with a solo album. The track “Bar” became one of the main hits of this summer, despite all the spiteful critics. By the way, Anna was also criticized for her appearance, allegedly she copies the image of Svetlana Loboda too much. Although, why bare your teeth? The image will not disappear until its “original” bearer has evaporated somewhere in the vent of geopolitical vesuvius.

In fact, neither Anna nor Svetlana brought anything fundamentally new to their image: a blonde in latex who dances well is the first thing for which the whole world once in time immemorial fell in love with the singer Madonna, who also had many predecessors. What’s there – girls all over the world adore this image in the form of a Barbie doll. Barbies came to life, grew up, became sexually mature aunts, dancing and singing … So Loboda is not Loboda, but a blonde in latex will always remain a sex fetish until either blondes or latex are banned. By the way, maybe … Now they can not be like that …

Published in the newspaper “Moskovsky Komsomolets” No. 28843 dated August 10, 2022

Newspaper headline:
Ears in a tube

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