How to survive separation from a loved one: correspondence, self-development, support for loved ones

Separation is a dramatic word. Its meaning in explanatory dictionaries is interpreted as "to live away from the one who is close and dear." Separation has to be experienced at least in life by each of us. It can be short or long, but it definitely leaves heaviness in the heart and anxiety in the soul.

It is very difficult to come to terms with the kilometers of distance that arises between loving people, but there are a few simple tricks that make this situation easier.

The reasons leading to the need to be away from those who are dear to you may be different, but the fact itself - the lack of the possibility of direct contact with a loved one, can seriously affect the psycho-emotional state. Therefore, do not underestimate any situation related to separation.

Biochemistry of parting

Dealing with a separation seems like an impossible task when you are in the process of breaking up because the complex biochemistry of separation is at work. What does it mean? To understand this, it is necessary to remember that hormones are produced in our body. These are biologically active substances, the lack or excess of which is directly related to mood, the ability to enjoy life, enjoy work or creativity.

Hormones, like nothing else, are associated with the emotional background of a person. The production of any kind of hormones occurs in response to external or internal stimuli. One of these most important stimuli is the constant communication with a loved one and a loved one. This releases the joy hormones dopamine and serotonin. If the relationship is stable, then the amount of these substances in your body is at the usual level. However, any change in the process of communication causes a lack of these hormones. And then the mood worsens, a feeling of loneliness and anxiety appears.

If we consider the case of separation from a loved one who is your sexual partner, then another type of hormone should be mentioned: oxytocin. Oxytocin is responsible for the feeling of stability and confidence in a partner. Violation of the normal level of this substance can lead to increased stress levels, an unstable emotional state, and even manifestations of aggression.

Relationships at a distance

To avoid the unpleasant consequences of separation, it is very important to be able to stabilize your psycho-emotional state at a time when a loved one is no longer around. To do this, you need to realize that the forced separation is temporary and is not something fatal. Time will pass and most likely everything will return to normal. You should also remember that you cannot influence the circumstances that caused the breakup.

Therefore, you should not dramatize the situation and swing the pendulum of negative emotions. The most correct decision is to accept what is happening calmly, with a clear understanding of the situation, without showing irritation, anger and panic.

separation strategy

The strategy of behavior during separation from a loved one is simple, but it will still require some effort.

Communication mode

The first point of this strategy is to maintain a regular mode of communication. You can keep in touch in any available format: phone calls, online chats, messages with video in instant messengers, where you can not only hear, but also see each other.

Let the exchange of information about the results of the past day take place in a friendly warm conversation, which can be supplemented with photos and videos. This will become the necessary outlet that will allow you to relieve the accumulated tension or give you the opportunity to feel the necessary support in a difficult situation.

The power of a word

It is no secret that in everyday life we ​​usually do not attach importance to affectionate words in communication with loved ones. But in the case when a distance separates you, it is precisely such words that can become a partial compensation for the impossibility of personal communication. Therefore, do not skimp on pleasant words and compliments to a loved one, even when there are no special grounds for them.

Dream Energy

Mentally, we are all capable of creating vivid pictures and thus programming future events. Allow yourself to create in your imagination images of your future together, whether it's just a quiet evening at home or bright joint trips and walks. In a word, try to dream for yourself! This relieves tension and strengthens the consciousness that any separation has a limit and will certainly end.

Interesting features

Do not allow yourself to dwell on your inner emotional experiences: this creates unnecessary tension and only aggravates the situation. Use your free time to do sports, shopping or your favorite hobby. This will fill your day and your thoughts with useful emotions, and will also be a nice bonus for a long-awaited phone call - you can tell how interesting and useful you spent your time.

In addition, the ability to engage in self-development is a very important skill for an adult. After all, even when living together in any relationship, the level of self-sufficiency is very important. Therefore, allow yourself to expand the zone of your personal space.

Self care

It may seem obvious, but under the onslaught of emotions, sometimes even the simplest needs can be forgotten. So take a deep breath and remember the most important needs of each day. Drink plenty of water, eat three meals a day, get enough sleep, go to work, supervise the kids, and do your usual chores. The better you feel, the more you can do. Doing routine things always helps to feel much calmer.

Recognition of the problem

Separation is a process you have to go through, you can't force yourself to feel less about it by willful decision. There is no magic moment by which a person should stop suffering from separation. Do not rush yourself, but just let your body and mind experience what is happening. Perhaps this will help to look into the depths of your own subconscious and better understand yourself.

Finding support

Use your own support system, whether it be family members, close friends, or a psychologist. It is very important that you have the opportunity to share everything that you are experiencing. Separation from a loved one entails many changes, and at such a time it is better to gather around you those who are dear to you and know well how you can help maintain a positive attitude during this difficult time. By finding solace in your loved ones, you will take smart steps towards positive change in yourself.


Learning to cope with separation is difficult, but possible. In any case, it should be remembered that this is not only a difficult circumstance of life, but also an opportunity to bring something new into your plans. It is also an opportunity to look at yourself and your loved one from the outside and test the strength of your relationship. The main thing is to direct your life energy in a creative direction and believe that your forced loneliness will not be too long. Remember to keep your head up high and hope for the best!


Vera Nomarskaya, psychologist:

Maintaining long distance relationships is hard work. If you stay in this situation for a long time, there will probably be moments when you doubt that the separation will end. And that's okay.

My advice is: if possible, watch the same series, read the same books, listen to the same podcasts and music, share the news with each other. These kinds of things will fuel your “touchpoints” and help you bond more closely, especially if your day-to-day responsibilities and location will be very different.

Dealing with separation is not easy, no matter what it is. But if this is a long-term relationship, and the two of you have already built most of your life around each other, you always need to trust that everything will be fine and soon you will embrace again.

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