Berries will be ahead – Newspaper Kommersant No. 13 (7458) of 01/25/2023

The shortlist for the 43rd Golden Raspberry Awards, the anti-Oscar, awarded by a group of anonymous enthusiasts for Hollywood’s anti-achievements of the year, has been announced. After reviewing the list of nominees, Mikhail Trofimenkov decided that Hollywood got what it deserved for its barbaric treatment of cinematic legends and icons.

The most infamous first place goes to Andrew Dominic’s biopic “Blonde” about Marilyn Monroe. Eight nominations: Worst Picture, Worst Director, Worst Two Supporting Actors, Worst Screenplay, Worst Remake, Sequel or Rip-Off, and Worst Two Screen Couples. Only Ana de Armas was spared, sometimes portraying Monroe with striking resemblance and nominated for this, on the contrary, for an Oscar.

No, of course, not Monroe, but exactly what – the name is a warning – a blonde from a joke. The formally sophisticated film is an exemplary example of what was called sex exploitation in the 1970s. This is when, under the guise, like Dominic, of an angry cry in defense of female dignity, the viewers are slipped natural pornography in a bad sense of the word. In ancient times, such a twist of horror, as in the “Blonde”, was called the grand guignol. Dad left Norma Jean’s family, crazy mom drowned her in the bathroom, the first producer on the first business date fucked on the table. One husband beat me. Another had a miscarriage. John F. Kennedy simply kidnapped and raped without further ado: another abortion.

For the role of another legendary character, the nomination in the category “Worst Supporting Actor” was awarded to Tom Hanks himself. In Baz Luhrmann’s “Elvis” – the film, meanwhile, nominated for an Oscar in eight categories – he played Colonel Parker, a stroke-stricken Tom, reminiscing before his death about how he discovered a boy with a guitar named Elvis Presley. The nominators cynically referred to his “latex face and caricatured accent.” Hanks is the real Raspberry birthday this season. She threatens him also for the role of Geppetto – in our language, Papa Carlo – in Robert Zemeckis’ Pinocchio, another contender for the title of the worst film of the year, appearing in a total of six nominations.

The Disney studio has been reworking its hits of bygone years with maniacal persistence for more than a year now. Now it’s the turn of the classic Pinocchio of 1940. After spending seven years in production and changing several directors of the film, the studio ended up producing a cold and pointless, almost frame-by-frame reconstruction of an old masterpiece using the latest technology.

A total of three nominations, including Worst Picture, went to Pinocchio’s competitor, Sean McNamara’s The Mermaid and the King’s Daughter. The crazy fantasy about the “Sun King” Louis XIV, who demanded from the courtiers the heart of a mermaid, which guarantees the monarch eternal life, was supposed to be released already in 2015, and work on it, muddy, like getting a heart, has been going on since 1999.

The topic of eternal life in the past year somehow strangely concerned Hollywood. Daniel Espinosa’s “Morbius” Marvel comic, where two superheroes, seeking a cure for a blood disease, become natural vampires, appears in five nominations. Jared Leto, aka Dr. Morbius, is among the contenders for Worst Actor. In excellent company with Sylvester Stallone, rolling on an armored garbage truck and sometimes literally burning up to such an extent that it has to be extinguished with water from a hose, as another superhero in Julius Avery’s Samaritan.

And, finally, in seven nominations, the film “Good Mourning” about the emotional throwing of a young movie star was lit up. The hero must choose between a sensational role and the solution of intimate problems. The brightest thing that the film is remembered for is the name of one of the directors (together with Maud Sun). Rapper Coulson Baker is credited as “Kelly the Machine Gunner,” the name of the legendary American scumbag raider of the 1930s.

The names of the unfortunates who won their Raspberries at the cost of titanic efforts will become known on March 11, on the eve of the Oscars.